Doctor Who Season 3, Episode 1: Smith and Jones

EXT. CHANCERY STREET
Martha Jones is walking along Chancery Street on her way to the hospital in the morning. She's listening to the radio, and the announcer is saying, "What can happen on an average beautiful day, you never know. Celebrate seasonal changes...On a beautiful sunny day." Her phone rings.

MARTHA
You're up early! What's happening?

INT. TISH'S BEDROOM

TISH
It's a nightmare, because Dad won't listen, and I'm telling you, Mum is going mental. Swear to God, Martha, this is epic. You've got to get in there and stop him.

EXT. CHANCERY STREET

MARTHA
How do I do that?

INT. TISH'S BEDROOM

TISH
Tell Dad he can't bring her!

EXT. CHANCERY STREET

MARTHA
(her phone rings again)
Hold on, that's Leo. I'll call you back.

INT. LEO'S BEDROOM

LEO
(taking clothes from his cupboard)
Martha, If Mum and Dad start to kick off, tell them I don't even want a party. I didn't even ask for one. They can always give me the money instead.

EXT. CHANCERY STREET

MARTHA
Yeah, but why do I have to tell them? Why can't you?
(her phone rings)
Hold on, that's Mum. I'll call you back.

INT. LEO'S BEDROOM
Leo lowers the phone and sighs, exasperated.
INT. FRANCINE'S KITCHEN

FRANCINE
I don't mind your father making a fool of himself in private, but this is Leo's 21st, everyone is going to be there, and the entire family is going to look ridiculous.

EXT. CHANCERY STREET

MARTHA
Mum, it's a party, I can't stop Dad from bringing his girlfriend.
(her phone rings)
Hold on, that's Dad, I'll call you back.

INT. FRANCINE'S KITCHEN

FRANCINE
Oh - !

EXT. CLIVE'S CAR

CLIVE
(getting into his car)
Martha? Now, tell your mother, Leo is my son, and I'm paying for half that party. I'm entitled to bring who I like.

EXT. CHANCERY STREET

MARTHA
I know, but think what it's going to look like for Mum, if you're standing there with Annalise.

EXT. CLIVE'S CAR

CLIVE
What's wrong with Annalise?

Annalise, all legs, gets into the car.

ANNALISE
Is that Martha? Say hi. Hi, Martha, hi!

EXT. CHANCERY STREET

MARTHA
(mock cheeriness)
Hi, Annalise.

EXT. CLIVE'S CAR

ANNALISE
Big kiss, lots of love, see you at the party, Babe.
(to Clive)
Now take me shopping, big boy.

She kisses him and he laughs.
EXT. CHANCERY STREET
Martha closes her phone as the Doctor steps in front of her.

THE DOCTOR
Like so!
(takes off his tie)
See?

Martha looks puzzled and a little amused, then continues to the Royal Hope Hospital. Thunder can be heard. A humanoid being in black leather and shiny helmet pushes her aside. This being is later identified as a Slab.

MARTHA
Hey! Watch, it mate!

The Slab looks at Martha, then enters the hospital. She hesitates, a little nonplussed, then goes inside herself.
INT. LOCKER ROOM
Martha goes to her locker to put on her lab coat. When she touches the locker door, she gets an electrical shock.
INT. HOSPITAL WARD
Martha, the other medical students, and Mr. Stoker are at a patient's bedside. The patient is Florence Finnegan.

FLORENCE
I was all right till this morning, and then, I don't know, I woke up and I felt all dizzy again. It was worse than when I came in.

MR STOKER
Pulse is slightly thready. Well, let's see what Britain's finest might suggest. Any ideas, Moregenstern?

MORGENSTERN
Dizziness can be a sign of early onset diabetes.

MR STOKER
Hardly early onset, if you'll forgive me, Miss Finnegan. Any more ideas? Swales?

SWALES
Um... could recommend a CT scan.

MR STOKER
And spend all our money. Jones?

MARTHA
We could take bloods and check for Meniere's disease.

MR STOKER
Or we could simply ask the patient. What did you have for dinner last night?

FLORENCE
I had salad.

MR STOKER
And the night before?

FLORENCE
Salad, again.

MR STOKER
And salad every night for the past week, contrary to my instructions. Salt deficiency, that's what. Simple, honest salt.

INT. HOSPITAL LOBBY
The students follow Stoker across the lobby.

MR STOKER (CONT'D)
Hippocrates himself expounded on the virtues of salt. Recommended the inhalation of steam from sea water. Though no doubt if he'd been afflicted with my students, results might have been rather more colourful.

Two Slabs get out of the lift. Martha pauses to look at them as she follows the other students into another ward. The Doctor is in the bed, in pyjamas.
INT. HOSPITAL WARD

MR STOKER (CONT'D)
Now then, Mr Smith, a very good morning to you. How are you today?

THE DOCTOR
Aw, not so bad, still a bit, you know. Blah.

MR STOKER
John Smith, admitted yesterday with severe abdominal pains. Jones, why don't you see what you can find? Amaze me.

MARTHA
That wasn't very clever, running around outside, was it?

THE DOCTOR
Sorry?

MARTHA
On Chancery Street this morning. You came up to me and took your tie off.

THE DOCTOR
Really? What did I do that for?

MARTHA
I don't know, you just did.

THE DOCTOR
Not me. I was here, in bed. Ask the nurses.

MARTHA
Well, that's weird, cause it looked like you. Have you got a brother?

THE DOCTOR
No, not any more. Just me.

MR STOKER
As time passes and I grow ever more infirm and weary, Miss Jones.

MARTHA
Sorry. Right.

Martha puts her stethoscope to the Doctor's chest, and looks puzzled. She moves the stethoscope to the other heart. The Doctor winks at her.

MR STOKER
I weep for further generations. Are you having trouble locating the heart, Miss Jones?

MARTHA
Um. I don't know. Stomach cramps?

MR STOKER
That is a symptom, not a diagnosis. And you rather failed basic techniques by not consulting first with the patient's chart.

He picks up the chart, receives an electric shock, and drops it.

MARTHA
That happened to me this morning.

MORGENSTERN
I had the same thing on the door handle.

SWALES
And me, on the lift.

MR STOKER
That's only to be expected. There's a thunderstorm moving in and lightning is a form of static electricity, as was first proven by - anyone?

THE DOCTOR
Benjamin Franklin.

MR STOKER
Correct!

THE DOCTOR
My mate Ben, that was a day and a half. I got rope burns off that kite, and then I got soaked..

MR STOKER
Quite...

THE DOCTOR
... and then I got electrocuted.

MR STOKER
Moving on.
(aside)
I think perhaps a visit from psychiatric.
(louder)
And next we have -

INT. KITCHENETTE
Martha is on the phone with her sister.

MARTHA
No, listen, I've worked out a plan. We tell Annelisa that the buffet tonight is one hundred per cent carbohydrate, and she won't turn up.

EXT. STREET

TISH
(on phone, walking down street)
I wish you'd take this seriously. That's our inheritance she's spending. On fake tan. Tell you what, I'm not that far away, I'll drop by for a sandwich and we can draw up a plan.

INT. KITCHENETTE

MARTHA
(looking at the torrential rain outside the window)
In this weather? I'm not going out, it's pouring down.

EXT. STREET

TISH
It's not raining here. (She turns the corner, and sees the hospital with a huge black cloud over it.) That's weird. It's sitting right on top of you, I can see it, but it's dry where I am.

INT. KITCHENETTE

MARTHA
Well, you just got lucky.

EXT. STREET

TISH
No, but it's like in cartoons, you know, when a man's got a cloud over his head.

INT. KITCHENETTE

MARTHA
But listen, I tell you what we'll do.

The Doctor walks by the room in his dressing gown, glances in, and continues on.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
We tell Dad and Annalise to get there early, for about 7:30, for Leo to do his birthday stuff. We tell Mum to come about 8:30 or nine, and that gives me time to have a word with Annalise, and--

Swales touches Martha's arm, looking out the window.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
What?

SWALES
The rain.

MARTHA
It's only rain.

EXT. STREET

TISH
Martha! Have you seen the rain?

INT. KITCHENETTE

MARTHA
Why's everyone fussing about rain?

SWALES
It's going up.

EXT. STREET

TISH
The rain is going up.

INT. KITCHENETTE
Martha looks. The rain is going up. Then the building shakes; Martha and Swale fall, as do most of the things on the counters and in the cupboards. When it stops, Martha gets up.

MARTHA
What in hell was that?

SWALES
Are you all right?

MARTHA
I think so, yeah. It felt like an earthquake, or -

SWALES
Martha? It's night. It was lunchtime.

MARTHA
It's not night.

SWALES
It's got to be. It's dark.

MARTHA
(looking out of the window)
We're on the moon.

SWALES
We can't be.

MARTHA
We're on the moon. We're on the bloody moon.

EXT. MOON
We see the hospital, isolated on the surface of the moon. We see the people in the hospital, looking out the windows - and then starting to panic when they realise where they are.
EXT. CHANCERY STREET
Tish runs to the site of the hospital, which is now a huge hole in the ground. She is stopped by a policeman.

POLICEMAN
I'm sorry, Miss, no.

TISH
My God...

Arial view of the big hole in the ground, with sirens or emergency vehicles.

TISH
(into her mobile phone)
Martha? Can you hear me? Martha!

Tish walks by the TARDIS.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
People are running and screaming. Martha pushes her way through them into -
INT. SIDE ROOM
Through the window, she can see the earth slightly above the horizon.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
Leaving, she passes by Florence Finnegan.

FLORENCE
Have you seen -

MARTHA
I'm sorry, I can't.

INT. HOSPITAL WARD

MARTHA (CONT'D)
All right, everyone back to bed, we've got an emergency but we'll sort it out.

The Doctor is watching her. He pulls the curtain around his bed shut. Martha goes to the window, followed by Swales.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
It's real. It's really real. Hold on!

She reaches for the window-latch.

SWALES
(sobbing)
Don't! We'll lose all the air!

MARTHA
But they're not exactly air tight. If the air was going to get sucked out it would have happened straight away, but it didn't. So how come?

THE DOCTOR
(pulling aside the bed-curtain, now fully dressed in a blue suit)
Very good point! Brilliant, in fact. What was your name?

MARTHA
Martha.

THE DOCTOR
And it was Jones, wasn't it?
(she nods)
Well then, Martha Jones, the question is, how are we still breathing?

SWALES
We can't be!

THE DOCTOR
Obviously we are so don't waste my time. Martha, what have we got? Is there a balcony on this floor, or a veranda, or...?

MARTHA
By the patients' lounge, yeah.

THE DOCTOR
Fancy going out?

MARTHA
Okay.

THE DOCTOR
We might die.

MARTHA
We might not.

THE DOCTOR
Good! C'mon. Not her, she'd hold us up.

Swales sobs as they leave.
INT. PATIENTS' LOUNGE
Martha and the Doctor go to the patients' lounge and push open the doors.
EXT. BALCONY
They step out onto the balcony.

MARTHA
We've got air! How does that work?

THE DOCTOR
Just be glad it does.

MARTHA
I've got a party tonight. It's my brother's twenty-first. My mother's going to be really ... really..

THE DOCTOR
You okay?

MARTHA
Yeah.

THE DOCTOR
Sure?

MARTHA
Yeah.

THE DOCTOR
Want to go back in?

MARTHA
No way. I mean, we could die any minute, but all the same - it's beautiful.

THE DOCTOR
You think?

MARTHA
How many people want to go to the moon? And here we are!

THE DOCTOR
Standing in the earthlight.

MARTHA
What do you think happened?

THE DOCTOR
What do you think?

MARTHA
Extraterrestrial. It's got to be. I don't know, a few years ago that would have sounded man, but these days? That spaceship flying into Big Ben - Christmas - those Cybermen things. I had a cousin. Adeola. She worked at Canary Wharf. She never came home.

THE DOCTOR
I'm sorry.

MARTHA
Yeah.

THE DOCTOR
I was there. In the battle.

MARTHA
I promise you, Mr Smith, we will find a way out. If we can travel to the moon, then we can travel back. There's got to be a way.

THE DOCTOR
It's not Smith, that's not my real name.

MARTHA
Who are you, then?

THE DOCTOR
I'm the Doctor.

MARTHA
Me too, if I can pass my exams. What is it, then, Doctor Smith?

THE DOCTOR
Just the Doctor.

MARTHA
How do you mean, just the Doctor?

THE DOCTOR
Just... the Doctor.

MARTHA
What, people call you 'the Doctor'?

THE DOCTOR
Yeah.

MARTHA
Well, I'm not. As far as I'm concerned, you've got to earn that title.

THE DOCTOR
Well, I'd better make a start, then. Let's have a look. (He picks up a pebble and throws it.) There must be some sort of force field keeping the air in.

MARTHA
If that's like a bubble sealing us in, that means this is the only air we've got. What happens when it runs out?

THE DOCTOR
How many people in this hospital?

MARTHA
I don't know, a thousand?

THE DOCTOR
One thousand people. Suffocating.

MARTHA
Why would anyone do that?

THE DOCTOR
Head's up! Ask them yourself.

The Judoon ships arrive. People go to the windows, staring, including Mr Stoker. The Judoon land and march to the hospital.

MARTHA
Aliens. That's aliens. Real, proper aliens.

THE DOCTOR
Judoon.

INT. STOKER'S OFFICE
Mr Stoker is watching through the window with binoculars.

FLORENCE
Mr Stoker? I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to ask, but can you help me?

MR STOKER
I think we've gone beyond aspirin, Miss... ah...

FLORENCE
Finnegan.

MR STOKER
What are names now when something unnameable is marching towards us across the moon? Two more years, I thought, two more years and then retire to Florida, but there is Florida, in the sky, I can see it. My daughter - she's still in university - I am never going to see her again.

FLORENCE
But I need your help, Mr Stoker.

MR STOKER
I can't do anything.

FLORENCE
Oh, I think you can.

Two Slabs enter behind her.

MR STOKER
What do you two want? It's a bit too late to sign for anything.

FLORENCE
These are my lovely boys. I prefer not to get my hands dirty.

MR STOKER
I'm sorry?

FLORENCE
You see, there are great tests to come, and terrible deeds, some of them my own. But if I am to survive this, I need you.

MR STOKER
What are you talking about?

FLORENCE
Blood. Specifically, yours.

She snaps her fingers. The Slabs advance on Mr Stoker.

MR STOKER
What are you doing?
(they hold him by the arms)
What are you doing? Well, let go of me, what the hell, let go.

FLORENCE
You see, I was only salt deficient because I am so very good at absorbing it. Now I need fire in my veins, and who better than a consultant, with blood full of salty fats and vintage wines and all those Michelin star sauces.

MR STOKER
Who are you?

FLORENCE
Oh, I'm a survivor, Mr Stoker. At any cost. Look! I've even brought a straw.

Mr Stoker screams as she approaches him.
INT. HOSPITAL RECEPTION
The Judoon are entering the hospital, walking through the force field. People watch, some screaming, some running, some cowering and trying to hide. The chief Judoon removes his helmet.

CHIEF JUDOON
Bo sco fo do no kro blo co sho ro!
MORGENSTERN
We are citizens of planet earth. We welcome you in peace.

The chief Judoon pushes him against the wall and shines a blue light in his face.

MORGENSTERN (CONT'D)
Please don't hurt me, I was just trying to help, I'm sorry, don't hurt me, please don't hurt me.

The Judoon plays his words back on his portable machine.

CHIEF JUDOON
Language assimilated. Designation Earth English. You will be catalogued.
(shines a blue light in Morgenstern's face and marks a cross on the back of his hand)
Category: human. Catalogue all suspects.

They start shining the blue light on people, checking their species, then marking the right hand of each with a cross, saying "Human" as they do so. The Doctor and Martha are watching from behind some potted plants on the mezzanine level.

THE DOCTOR
Oh, look down there, you've got a little shop. I like a little shop.

MARTHA
Never mind that! What are Judoon?

THE DOCTOR
Galactic police. Well, police for hire. More like interplanetary thugs.

MARTHA
And they brought us to the moon?

THE DOCTOR
Neutral territory. According to galactic law, they've got no jurisdiction over the Earth, and they isolated us. That rain? Lightning? That was them, using an H₂O scoop.

MARTHA
What's that about 'galactic law'? Where'd you get that from? If they're police, are we under arrest? Are we trespassing on the moon or something?

THE DOCTOR
No. But I like that. Good thinking. No, it's more simple. They're making a catalogue, it means they're after something non-human, which is very bad news for me.

MARTHA
Why?
(he looks at her)
Oh, you're kidding me.
(he raises an eyebrow)
Don't be ridiculous. Stop looking at me like that.

THE DOCTOR
Come on, then.

The Doctor and Martha leave.

CHIEF JUDOON
Troop five, floor one. Troop six, floor two. Identify humans and find the transgressor. Find it.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
The Doctor and Martha enter at a run.

CHIEF JUDOON
Prepare to be catalogued.

MORGENSTERN
Do what they say. All they want is to shine this light thing, it's all right, they don't mean to hurt us. Just listen to them.

A man breaks a jug over the head of one of the Judoon.

CHIEF JUDOON
Witness the crime. Charge: physical assault. Plea: guilty. Sentence: execution.

The Judoon shoot the man and he vaporises, screaming.

MORGENSTERN
You didn't have to do that.

CHIEF JUDOON
Justice is swift.

Morgenstern flinches.
INT. OFFICE
The Doctor is examining a computer with his sonic screwdriver. Martha comes into the room.

MARTHA
They've reached third floor. What's that thing?

THE DOCTOR
Sonic screwdriver.

MARTHA
Well, if you're not going to answer me properly!

THE DOCTOR
No, really, it is. It's a screwdriver, and it's sonic. Look.

MARTHA
What else have you got? A laser spanner?

THE DOCTOR
I did, but it was stolen by Emily Pankhurst, cheeky woman.
(hits the computer)
Oh, this computer! The Judoon must have locked it down. Judoon platoon upon the moon. Cause I was just travelling past, I swear, I was just wandering, I wasn't looking for trouble, honestly, I wasn't, but I noticed these plasma coils around the hospital, and that lightning, that's plasma coils, been building up for two days now, so I checked in, I thought something was going on inside, it turns out the plasma coils were the Judoon up above.

MARTHA
But what were they looking for?

THE DOCTOR
Something that looks human, but isn't.

MARTHA
Like you. Apparently.

THE DOCTOR
Like me. But not me.

MARTHA
Haven't they got a photo?

THE DOCTOR
Might be a shape-changer.

MARTHA
Whatever it is, can't you just leave the Judoon to find it?

THE DOCTOR
If they declare the hospital guilty of harbouring a fugitive, they'll sentence it to execution.

MARTHA
All of us?

THE DOCTOR
Oh yes. If I can find this thing first... Oh! Just that they're thick! Judoon are thick! They are completely thick! They wiped the records. Oh, that's clever.

MARTHA
What are we looking for?

THE DOCTOR
I don't know. Any patient admitted in the past week with unusual symptoms. Maybe there's a back-up.

MARTHA
Just keep working. I'll go ask Mr Stoker, he might know.

She leaves.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
She runs down the hall and knocks on the door to Stoker's office and enters without waiting for an answer.
INT. STOKER'S OFFICE

MARTHA (CONT'D)
Mr Stoker!

She sees his feet sticking out around the desk, and the two Slabs. Florence Finnegan arises, straw in hand. Martha runs for it.

FLORENCE
Kill her!

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
Martha meets up with the Doctor.

THE DOCTOR
I've restored the back-up.

MARTHA
I found her.

THE DOCTOR
You what?
(he sees the Slabs)
Run!

He takes Martha's hand and they run -
INT. STAIRWELL
They run down the stairs, followed by the Slabs. Then they meet the Judoon coming up, and dodge out a doorway on the fourth floor.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
They run, Slabs hot on their tails, skidding around corners and then into the radiology room.
INT. RADIOLOGY ROOM
The Doctor closes and locks the door in the face of a Slab.

THE DOCTOR
When I say 'now', press the button.

MARTHA
I don't know which one.

THE DOCTOR
Find out!

He uses his sonic screwdriver on some of the machinery. Martha goes for the Operator's Manual. The Slab breaks down the door.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D)
Now!

He zaps the Slab with radiation, his skeleton visible. The Slab falls inert.

MARTHA
What did you do?

THE DOCTOR
Increased the radiation by five thousand per cent. Killed him dead.

MARTHA
Isn't that likely to kill you?

THE DOCTOR
Nah, it's only radiation. We used to play with roentgen bricks in the nursery. It's safe for you to come out, I've absorbed it all. All I need to do is expel it.
(he starts bouncing and hopping)
If I concentrate I can shake the radiation out of my body and into one spot. It's in my left shoe. Here we go, here we go, easy does it...
(shaking his foot)
Out, out, out, out, out. Out, out, ah, ah, ah, ah. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is hot. Ah - hold on.
(throws his shoe into the dustbin)
Done.

MARTHA
You're completely mad.

THE DOCTOR
Right. I look daft with one shoe.
(removes and discards the other one)
Barefoot on the moon!

MARTHA
(going to the Slab)
So what is that thing? And where's it from? The planet Zovirax?

THE DOCTOR
It's just a Slab. They're called 'Slabs'. Basic slave drones, see? Solid leather, all the way through. Someone has got one hell of a fetish.

MARTHA
It came with that woman, Mrs. Finnegan. It was working for her. Just like a servant.

THE DOCTOR
(takes what remains of his sonic screwdriver out of the x-ray machine)
My sonic screwdriver.

MARTHA
She was one of the patients, but -

THE DOCTOR
My sonic screwdriver!

MARTHA
She had a straw like some kind of vampire.

THE DOCTOR
I loved my sonic screwdriver!

MARTHA
Doctor!

THE DOCTOR
Sorry.
(he tosses the sonic screwdriver away, and smiles)
You called me 'Doctor'.

MARTHA
Anyway! Miss Finnegan is the alien. She was drinking Mr. Stoker's blood.

THE DOCTOR
Funny time to take a snack. You'd think she'd be hiding. Unless - no. Yes, that's it, wait a minute. Yes! Shape-changer. Internal shape-changer. She wasn't drinking blood, she was assimilating it.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
Florence Finnegan walks into a corridor, wiping her lips. The Judoon are approaching.

CHIEF JUDOON
Prepare to be catalogued.
(they catalogue people)
Human.

They come to Florence Finnegan and shine the blue light on her.
INT. RADIOLOGY ROOM

THE DOCTOR
If she can assimilate Mr Stoker's blood, mimic the morphology, she can register as human. We've got to find her and show the Judoon. Come on!

He runs.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

CHIEF JUDOON
(shining his light at Florence Finnegan)
Human.

Puts a cross on her hand and carries on. She looks at it with a smile.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
A Slab walks down a hallway, past the Doctor and Martha, who are hiding behind a water cooler.

THE DOCTOR
That's the thing about Slabs. They always travel in pairs.

MARTHA
What about you?

THE DOCTOR
What about me what?

MARTHA
Haven't you got back-up? You must have a partner or something?

THE DOCTOR
Uh. Humans. We're stuck on the moon running out of air with Judoon and a bloodsucking criminal, you're asking personal questions. Come on.

MARTHA
I like that. "Humans." I'm still not convinced you're an alien.

They step in front of a Judoon, who shines his blue light on the Doctor's face.

JUDOON
Non-human.

MARTHA
Oh my God, you really are!

THE DOCTOR
And again!

They run. The Judoon shoot after them. They go up stairs, and manage to lock a door behind them, emerging in a corridor where people are falling to the ground, gasping for breath.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D)
They've done this floor. Come on. The Judoon are logical and just a little bit thick. They won't go back to check a floor they've checked already. If we're lucky.

Martha sees Swales and stops by her.

MARTHA
How much oxygen is there?

SWALES
Not enough for all these people. We're going to run out.

THE DOCTOR
How are you feeling? Are you all right?

MARTHA
I'm running on adrenaline.

THE DOCTOR
Welcome to my world.

MARTHA
What about the Judoon?

THE DOCTOR
Ah, great big lung reserves, it won't slow them down. Where's Mr Stoker's office?

MARTHA
It's this way.

INT. STOKER'S OFFICE
They enter.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
She's gone! She was here.

THE DOCTOR
(examining Mr Stoker)
Drained him dry. Every last drop. I was right. She's a plasmavore.

MARTHA
What was she doing on Earth?

THE DOCTOR
Hiding. On the run. Like Ronald Biggs in Rio de Janeiro. What's she doing now? She's still not safe. The Judoon could execute us all. Come on.

MARTHA
Wait a minute.

She goes to Mr Stoker and closes his eyes, then leaves with the Doctor.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

THE DOCTOR
Think, think, think. If I was a plasmavore surrounded by police, what would I do?
(he looks at the MRI sign)
Aah. She's as clever as me. Almost.

JUDOON VOICES
Find the non-human. Execute.

THE DOCTOR
Stay here. I need time. You're going to have to hold them up.

MARTHA
How do I do that?

THE DOCTOR
Martha, forgive me for this. It's to save a thousand lives, it means nothing. Honestly, nothing.

He kisses her, then runs off.

MARTHA
That was nothing?

INT. MRI ROOM
The Doctor goes into the MRI room, where the machine is making strange noises and Florence Finnegan is working with the controls.

THE DOCTOR
Have you seen - there are these things, those great big space rhino things, I mean rhinos from space. And we're on the moon. Great big space rhinos with guns on the moon. And I only came in for my bunions, look.
(shows his feet)
They're all right now, perfectly good treatment, I said to my wife, I'd recommend this place to anyone, but then we end up on the moon. And did I mention the rhinos?

FLORENCE
Hold him!

The Slabs take hold of the Doctor.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
The Judoon walk into another corridor. Martha stands bravely waiting for them.

CHIEF JUDOON
Find the non-human. Execute.

MARTHA
Now, listen. I know who you're looking for. She's this woman. She calls herself Florence.

The Judoon examines her with his blue light.

CHIEF JUDOON
Human. With non-human traits suspected. Non-human element confirmed. Authorize full scan. What are you? What are you?

INT. MRI ROOM
Florence Finnegan is fussing with the MRI machine.

THE DOCTOR
That thing, that big machine thing, is it supposed to be making that noise?

FLORENCE
You wouldn't understand.

THE DOCTOR
Isn't that a magnetic resonance imaging thing? Like a ginormous sort of a magnet? I did magnets at GCSE. Well, I failed, but all the same.

FLORENCE
The magnetic setting is now set to 50,000 Tesla.

THE DOCTOR
Ooh. That's a bit strong, isn't it?

FLORENCE
I can send out a magnetic pulse that will fry the brain-stems of every living thing within 250,000 miles. Except me, safe in this room.

THE DOCTOR
But... hold on, hold on, I did geography for GCSE, I did pass that one, doesn't that distance include Earth?

FLORENCE
Only the side facing the moon. The other half will survive. Call it my little gift.

THE DOCTOR
I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me, I'm a little out of my depth. I've spent the past fifteen years working as a postman, hence the bunions - why would you do that?

FLORENCE
With everyone dead, the Judoon ships will be mine, to make my escape.

THE DOCTOR
Now, that's weird. You're talking like you're some sort of an alien.

FLORENCE
Right-o.

THE DOCTOR
No!

FLORENCE
Oh, yes.

THE DOCTOR
You're joshing me.

FLORENCE
I am not.

THE DOCTOR
I'm talking to an alien? In hospital? What, has the place got an ET department?

FLORENCE
It's the perfect hiding place. Blood banks downstairs for a midnight feast, and all this equipment I'm ready to arm myself with should the police come looking.

THE DOCTOR
So, those rhinos, they're looking for you?

FLORENCE
Yes. But I'm hidden.

THE DOCTOR
Oh. Right! Maybe that's why they're increasing their scans.

FLORENCE
They're doing what?

THE DOCTOR
Big chief rhino boy, he said, no sign of a non-human, we must increase our scans... up to setting two?

FLORENCE
Then I must assimilate again.

THE DOCTOR
What does that mean?

FLORENCE
I must appear to be human.

THE DOCTOR
Well, you're welcome to come home and meet the wife. She'd be honoured. We can have cake.

FLORENCE
Why should I have cake? I've got my little straw.

THE DOCTOR
That's nice. Milkshake? I like banana.

FLORENCE
You're quite the funny man. And yet, I think, laughing on purpose at the darkness. I think it's time you found some peace. Steady him!

THE DOCTOR
What are you doing?

As the Slabs hold him and Florence approaches with her straw.

FLORENCE
I'm afraid this is going to hurt. But if it's any consolation, the dead don't tend to remember.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
The Judoon makes a cross on Martha's hand.

CHIEF JUDOON
Confirmed: human. Traces of facial contact with non-human. Continue the search.
(to Martha, hands her slip of paper)
You will need this.

MARTHA
What's that for?

CHIEF JUDOON
Compensation.

INT. MRI ROOM
Florence drinks the Doctor's blood with a straw. The Judoon enter the room.

FLORENCE
Now see what you've done. This poor man just died of fright.

CHIEF JUDOON
Scan him! Confirmation: deceased.

MARTHA
No, he can't be. Let me through, let me see him

CHIEF JUDOON
Stop. Case closed.

MARTHA
But it was her. She killed him. She did it. She murdered him.

CHIEF JUDOON
The Judoon have no authority over human crime.

MARTHA
But she's not human.

FLORENCE
Oh, but I am. I've been catalogued.

MARTHA
But she's not! She assimil-- Wait a minute. You drank his blood. The Doctor's blood.

She grabs a Judoon scanner.

FLORENCE
Oh, all right. Scan all you like.

CHIEF JUDOON
Non-human.

FLORENCE
What?

CHIEF JUDOON
Confirm analysis.

FLORENCE
Oh, but it's a mistake, surely. I'm human. I'm as human as they come.

MARTHA
He gave his life so they'd find you.

CHIEF JUDOON
Confirmed: Plasmavore. I charge you with the crime of murdering the princess of Patrival Regency Nine.

FLORENCE
She deserved it! Those pink cheeks and those blond curls and that simpering voice. She was begging for the bite of a plasmavore.

CHIEF JUDOON
Do you confess?

FLORENCE
Confess? I'm proud of it! Slab - stop them!

The Slab shoots. The Judoon shoot. The Slab disintegrates.

CHIEF JUDOON
Verdict: guilty. Sentence: execution.

The warning sign light up: MAGNETIC OVERLOAD.

FLORENCE
Enjoy your victory, Judoon, because you're going to burn with me. Burn in hell!

She screams as they disintegrate her. Martha rushes over to the Doctor.

CHIEF JUDOON
Case closed.

MARTHA
What did she mean, "burn with me"? The scanner shouldn't be doing that. She's done something.

CHIEF JUDOON
Scans detect lethal acceleration of monomagnetic pulse.

MARTHA
Well, do something! Stop it!

CHIEF JUDOON
Our jurisdiction has ended. Judoon will evacuate.

MARTHA
You can't just leave it. What's it going to do?

CHIEF JUDOON
All units withdraw.

They depart. The sign continues to flash: MAGNETIC OVERLOAD.

MORGENSTERN
What about the air? We're running out of air.

MARTHA
You can't go. That thing's going to explode and it's all your fault.

They're gone. Martha runs to the Doctor and starts to apply pulmonary resuscitation techniques.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
One two three four five. One two three four five. Two hearts! One two three four five. One two three four five.

Martha is running out of air. The Doctor revives and starts to cough. Martha falls to the ground.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
The scanner. She did something.

Coughing, the Doctor crawls and staggers to the MRI machine, and unplugs it.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
The Doctor carries Martha down a corridor where patients and doctors alike are either very weak or unconscious due to oxygen starvation.
INT. HOSPITAL WARD
The Doctor looks out of the window at the Judoon ships.

THE DOCTOR
Come on, come on, come on. Come on, Judoon, reverse it.
(it starts to rain. He smiles)
It's raining, Martha. It's raining on the moon.

In a flash of white light, they disappear.
EXT. CHANCERY STREET
The hospital reappears where it originally was, with Tish and the onlookers standing at the side of the hole. Emergency care commences, while Martha sits, looking thoughtful, outside the hospital.

MORGENSTERN
I told them I represented the human race. I told them, you can't do that. I said, "You can't do that, we have rights."

TISH
Martha!
(goes running to hug her)
Oh, God! I thought you were dead! What happened? It was so weird, because the police wouldn't say, they didn't have a clue. And I tried phoning, but I couldn't get through. Mum's on her way, but she couldn't get through, they've closed off all the roads.

Martha sees the Doctor walking away, towards the TARDIS. He smiles at her, and waves. A truck goes by, and when it has passed, the Doctor and the TARDIS are gone.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
There's thousands of people trying to get in, the whole city's ground to a halt, and Dad phoned, cause it's on the news and everything, he was crying. It's been a mess, and what happened? I mean, what really happened? Where were you?

Martha stares at the place the TARDIS was, hearing the last traces of the TARDIS engines.
INT. MARTHA'S BEDROOM
Martha is applying her mascara for the party, listening to the radio.

ANNOUNCER
Eyewitness reports from the Royal Hope Hospital continue to pour in, and it all seems to be remarkably consistent. This from medical student Oliver Moregenstern.

MORGENSTERN
I was there. I saw it happen. And I feel uniquely privileged. I looked out at the surface of the moon. I saw the Earth, suspended in space, and it all just proves Mr Saxon right. We're not alone in the universe. There's life out there: wild and extraordinary life.

EXT. PUB
Annalise storms outside.

ANNALISE
I am not prepared to be insulted!

CLIVE
She didn't mean it, sweetheart. She just said you look healthy.

FRANCINE
No, I did not. I said orange.

ANNALISE
Clive, that woman is disrespecting me. She's never liked me.

FRANCINE
Oh, I can't think why, after you stole my husband.

ANNALISE
I was seduced. I'm entirely innocent! Tell her, Clive!

FRANCINE
And then she has a go at Martha, practically accused her of making the whole thing up.

MARTHA
Mum, I don't mind. Just leave it.

ANNALISE
Oh. "I've been to the moon!" As if. They were drugged. It said so on the news.

FRANCINE
Since when did you watch the news? You can't handle "Quiz Mania".

TISH
(to Martha)
Annalise started it. She did. I heard her.

LEO
Trish, don't make it worse.

TISH
You're talking, Leo. What did she buy you, soap? A seventy-five pence soap?

ANNALISE
Oh, I'm never talking to your family again!

She storms off. They're all talking over each other -

FRANCINE
Oh, stay. Have a night out.

CLIVE
Don't you dare. I'm putting my foot down. This is me, putting my foot down.

He chases after Annalise.

LEO
Dad!
FRANCINE
Make a fool of yourself! God knows, you've been doing it for the last twenty-five years! Why stop now?

She storms off. Tish follows -

TRISH
Mum, don't! I asked the DJ and he's playing that song later--

Martha, distressed, sees the Doctor standing on the corner, looking at her. He smiles and gives her a 'follow me' look. She follows him around the building...
EXT. ALLEYWAY
She finds him standing and leaning against the TARDIS. There is a "VOTE SAXON" poster on the wall behind her.

MARTHA
I went to the moon today.

THE DOCTOR
A bit more peaceful than down here.

MARTHA
You never even told me who you are.

THE DOCTOR
The Doctor.

MARTHA
What sort of species? It's not every day I get to ask that.

THE DOCTOR
I'm a Time Lord.

MARTHA
Right! Not pompous at all, then.

THE DOCTOR
I just thought since you saved my life and I've got a brand new sonic screwdriver which needs road testing, you might fancy a trip.

MARTHA
What, into space?

THE DOCTOR
Well.

MARTHA
I can't. I've got exams. I've got things to do. I have to go into town first thing and pay the rent, I've got my family going mad...

THE DOCTOR
If it helps, I can travel in time, as well.

MARTHA
Get out of here.

THE DOCTOR
I can.

MARTHA
Come on now, that's going too far.

THE DOCTOR
I'll prove it.

He goes into the TARDIS, and it makes TARDIS noises, and then disappears while Martha watches. She waves her hand in the spot where it was. It comes back. The Doctor steps out, holding his tie in his hand.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D)
Told you!

MARTHA
I know, but... that was this morning! But - Did you... Oh, my God! You can travel in time!

The Doctor puts his tie on again.

MARTHA (CONT'D)
But hold on, if you could see me this morning, why didn't you tell me not to go in to work?

THE DOCTOR
Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks.

MARTHA
And that's your spaceship?

THE DOCTOR
It's called the TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space.

MARTHA
Your spaceship's made of wood. There's not much room. We'd be a bit intimate.

THE DOCTOR
(pushing the door open)
Take a look.

INT. TARDIS
She goes in - the Doctor follows her. She looks around and runs out again.

MARTHA
Oh, no, no.

EXT. ALLEYWAY

MARTHA (CONT'D)
(she looks around outside)
But it's just a box. But it's huge. How does it do that? It's wood.

She knocks on it.
INT. TARDIS

MARTHA (CONT'D)
It's like a box with that room just rammed in. It's bigger on the inside.

THE DOCTOR
(after mouthing this last sentence with her)
Is it? I hadn't noticed.
(he shuts the door behind her, throws his coat aside)
All right, then, let's get going.

MARTHA
But is there a crew? Like a navigator and stuff? Where is everyone?

THE DOCTOR
Just me.

MARTHA
All on your own?

THE DOCTOR
Well, sometimes I have guests. I mean some friends, travelling alongside. I had - there was recently a friend of mine. Rose, her name was, Rose. And... we were together. Anyway.

MARTHA
Where is she now?

THE DOCTOR
With her family. Happy. She's fine. Not that you're replacing her.

MARTHA
Never said I was.

THE DOCTOR
Just one trip to say 'thanks', you get one trip, then back home. I'd rather be on my own.

MARTHA
You're the one that kissed me.

THE DOCTOR
That was a genetic transfer.

MARTHA
And if you will wear a tight suit...

THE DOCTOR
Now... don't!

MARTHA
And then travel all the way across the universe just to ask me on a date...

THE DOCTOR
Stop it.

MARTHA
For the record? I'm not remotely interested. I only go for humans.

THE DOCTOR
Good. Well, then. Close down the gravitic anomalizer. Fire up the helmic regulator. And finally - the hand brake. Ready?

MARTHA
No.

THE DOCTOR
Off we go.

He pulls the hand brake. The TARDIS jolts and shakes. He falls.

MARTHA
Blimey, it's a bit bumpy.

THE DOCTOR
Welcome aboard, Miss Jones.

He shakes her hand.

MARTHA
It's my pleasure, Mr Smith.

EXT. TIME VORTEX
The TARDIS hurtles through the vortex.