A familiar shot; we begin, as usual, with the sweeping
camera move from the moon to the Earth, zooming in on 21st century London.
INT. CHURCH
A bride, Donna, is about to be given away by her father.
They are ready to walk down the aisle. Donna's father, Geoff, has his arm
linked through hers rather than the other way round -- Donna swaps their
positions with a slight cough.
GEOFF
Sorry.
Sorry.
The organ begins to play and Donna sighs happily. The
congregation stands. Donna's fiancé, Lance, catches her eye from the front of
the church and they smile at one another in anticipation. Donna and Geoff begin
to walk slowly down the aisle, which elicits sounds of appreciation from their
friends and family -- except from one blonde woman, Nerys, who looks Donna up
and down with a look of pure contempt. They are about halfway down the aisle
when Donna starts to glow gold. Lance's eyes widen. It takes Donna a moment to
notice, but when she does, she screams long and loud. The congregation members mutter
excitedly as Donna disappears in a puff of golden dust, which then zooms
upwards and through the ceiling.
INT. TARDIS
The TARDIS is exactly where we left it in 'Doomsday' -- in
orbit around a super nova. The golden dust flies straight through the walls and
reassembles itself in the form of Donna in the console room. The Doctor looks
up from the controls in alarm.
THE DOCTOR
(aghast)
What??
What??
Donna spins around to face him with a yelp.
DONNA
Who are you?
Who are you?
THE DOCTOR
(looks around, dumbfounded)
But--
But--
DONNA
Where am I?
Where am I?
THE DOCTOR
What??
What??
DONNA
(voice rises)
What the hell is this place?
What the hell is this place?
THE DOCTOR
What??!
What??!
OPENING CREDITS
INT. TARDIS
THE DOCTOR
(looking around for some
explanation, bewildered)
You can't do that, I wasn't... we're in flight! That is-- that is physically impossible! How did--??
You can't do that, I wasn't... we're in flight! That is-- that is physically impossible! How did--??
DONNA
(commandingly)
Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me right now -- where am I?
Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me right now -- where am I?
THE DOCTOR
(stares at her)
Inside the TARDIS.
Inside the TARDIS.
DONNA
The what?
The what?
THE DOCTOR
The TARDIS.
The TARDIS.
DONNA
The what?
The what?
THE DOCTOR
The TARDIS!
The TARDIS!
The Doctor turns to the controls.
DONNA
The what??
The what??
THE DOCTOR
It's called the TARDIS.
It's called the TARDIS.
DONNA
(angrily)
That's not even a proper word. You're just saying things.
That's not even a proper word. You're just saying things.
THE DOCTOR
How did you get in here?
How did you get in here?
DONNA
(rigid with rage)
Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me. Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh, my God, she's finally got me back. This has got Nerys written all over it.
Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me. Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh, my God, she's finally got me back. This has got Nerys written all over it.
The Doctor watches her rant, looking her up and down with
utter confusion.
THE DOCTOR
Who the hell is Nerys?
Who the hell is Nerys?
DONNA
Your best friend.
Your best friend.
THE DOCTOR
Hold on, wait a minute -- what're you dressed like that for?
Hold on, wait a minute -- what're you dressed like that for?
DONNA
I'm going ten pin bowling.
I'm going ten pin bowling.
(yells)
Why do you think, Dumbo? I was
halfway up the aisle!
The Doctor begins to fiddle with the controls whilst
Donna walks around, ranting.
DONNA
I've been waiting all my life for this. I was just seconds away! And then you-- I dunno, you drugged me or something!
I've been waiting all my life for this. I was just seconds away! And then you-- I dunno, you drugged me or something!
THE DOCTOR
I haven't done anything!
I haven't done anything!
DONNA
We're having the police on you! Me and my husband -- as soon as he is my husband -- we're gonna sue the living backside off ya!
We're having the police on you! Me and my husband -- as soon as he is my husband -- we're gonna sue the living backside off ya!
The Doctor does not reply, engrossed in operating the
controls. Donna notices the doors and rushes over to them. The Doctor looks up
in alarm, hurrying after her.
THE DOCTOR
(urgently)
No, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Don't--!
No, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Don't--!
But too late -- Donna has already thrown open the doors
and is now looking upon the super nova. Her mouth falls open slightly. The
Doctor goes to stand next to her.
THE DOCTOR
You're in space. Outer Space. This is my... space-ship. It's called the 'TARDIS'.
You're in space. Outer Space. This is my... space-ship. It's called the 'TARDIS'.
DONNA
How am I breathing?
How am I breathing?
THE DOCTOR
The TARDIS is protecting us.
The TARDIS is protecting us.
DONNA
Who are you?
Who are you?
THE DOCTOR
I'm the Doctor. You?
I'm the Doctor. You?
DONNA
Donna.
Donna.
THE DOCTOR
(looks her up and down)
Human?
Human?
DONNA
Yeah. Is that optional?
Yeah. Is that optional?
THE DOCTOR
Well, it is for me.
Well, it is for me.
Donna glances around at him, but there's not much room
for more surprise.
DONNA
You're an alien.
You're an alien.
THE DOCTOR
Yeah.
Yeah.
DONNA
(after a moment)
It's freezing with these doors open.
It's freezing with these doors open.
So the Doctor slams them shut and darts back to the
console.
THE DOCTOR
But I don't understand it and I understand everything! This-- this can't happen! There is no way a Human Being can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside. It must be...
But I don't understand it and I understand everything! This-- this can't happen! There is no way a Human Being can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside. It must be...
Suddenly he's all energy -- he grabs an ophthalmoscope
and uses it to look into Donna's eyes, all the while muttering an endless flow
of techno-babble. Donna is stuck silent with confusion.
THE DOCTOR
Impossible. Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA within the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic—
Impossible. Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA within the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic—
She slaps him.
THE DOCTOR
(indignantly)
What was that for??
What was that for??
DONNA
(yells)
Get me to the church!
Get me to the church!
THE DOCTOR
(dropping his instruments and
going back to the controls)
Right! Fine! I don't want you here anyway! Where is this wedding?
Right! Fine! I don't want you here anyway! Where is this wedding?
DONNA
Saint Mary's, Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System.
Saint Mary's, Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System.
Donna suddenly spots a blouse slung over one of the
railings. It's one of Rose's -- the purple one she was wearing in 'New Earth'.
She snatches it up.
DONNA
(accusingly)
I knew it. Acting all innocent.
I knew it. Acting all innocent.
She strides over to the Doctor and shows him the blouse.
DONNA
I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?
I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?
The Doctor looks up from the controls and his eyes fall
to the garment in Donna's hands. His face falls.
THE DOCTOR
(quietly)
That's my friend's.
That's my friend's.
DONNA
(sarcastically)
Where is she, then? Popped out for a space walk?
Where is she, then? Popped out for a space walk?
THE DOCTOR
She's gone.
She's gone.
DONNA
Gone where?
Gone where?
THE DOCTOR
(after a moment)
I lost her.
I lost her.
DONNA
(furiously)
Well, you can hurry up and lose me.
Well, you can hurry up and lose me.
She watches him for a moment, suddenly seeming to realise
this is a sensitive topic.
DONNA
How do you mean, 'lost'?
How do you mean, 'lost'?
The Doctor looks up at her darkly and advances -- for a
moment, Donna looks fearful but he only snatches Rose's blouse away from her.
He makes towards the doors.
THE DOCTOR
Right! Chiswick.
Right! Chiswick.
INT. CHURCH
There is much commotion and a large crowd of confused
friends and families inside Saint Mary's church. Donna's mother, Sylvia, pushes
her way through the throngs whilst talking to someone on her mobile.
SYLVIA
No, she didn't run away. We're not talking jitters. She literally vanished. Now, go and check the house and see if she's there.
No, she didn't run away. We're not talking jitters. She literally vanished. Now, go and check the house and see if she's there.
She hangs up.
SYLVIA
(addressing someone in the
crowd)
Oh, Angelica, that's not helping, is it? Now, smarten up.
Oh, Angelica, that's not helping, is it? Now, smarten up.
ANGELICA
Sorry.
Sorry.
Donna's fiancé, Lance, comes towards her.
SYLVIA
Lance -- any sign?
Lance -- any sign?
SYLVIA
I've looked all around and I can't find her. Where the hell did she go??
I've looked all around and I can't find her. Where the hell did she go??
He disappears into the crowd.
SYLVIA
(to Geoff)
Showing off, that's what she is! First day at school, she was sent home for biting.
Showing off, that's what she is! First day at school, she was sent home for biting.
GEOFF
Well, it's a bit more serious than that. She's never disappeared before!
Well, it's a bit more serious than that. She's never disappeared before!
SYLVIA
(contemptuously)
She didn't disappear, it's a trick! It's one of her silly little 'look at me' party pieces.
She didn't disappear, it's a trick! It's one of her silly little 'look at me' party pieces.
(suddenly worried)
What if she's dead?
GEOFF
Oh, don't say that!
Oh, don't say that!
EXT. LONDON STREET
Donna alights from the TARDIS -- the right time, the
right planet, but unfamiliar surroundings.
DONNA
I said 'Saint Mary's'. What sort of Martian are you? Where's this?
I said 'Saint Mary's'. What sort of Martian are you? Where's this?
The Doctor strokes the TARDIS with concern.
THE DOCTOR
Something's wrong with her...
Something's wrong with her...
Donna rolls her eyes.
THE DOCTOR
It's like she's... recalibrating!
It's like she's... recalibrating!
He rushes back into the TARDIS and over to the console.
THE DOCTOR
She's digesting.
She's digesting.
Donna is standing outside with her mouth open -- she's
finally noticed what she's stepped out of and how small it is in comparison to
its interior.
THE DOCTOR
(one hand on the rotor)
What have you eaten? What's wrong?
What have you eaten? What's wrong?
(calls)
Donna? You've really gotta think.
Is there anything that might've caused this?
Donna isn't listening -- she's pacing around the outside
of the TARDIS, feeling the walls in utter bewilderment.
THE DOCTOR
Anything you might've done? Any sort of alien contacts? I can't let you go wandering off in case you're dangerous. I mean, have you... have you seen lights in the sky? Or... did you touch something? Something-- something different? Something strange? Something made out of a sort of metal or... who're you getting married to?
Anything you might've done? Any sort of alien contacts? I can't let you go wandering off in case you're dangerous. I mean, have you... have you seen lights in the sky? Or... did you touch something? Something-- something different? Something strange? Something made out of a sort of metal or... who're you getting married to?
All the while, Donna has completed her circuit of the
TARDIS and has popped her head back inside, as if to check whether she wasn't
just imagining how big it was. Having confirmed this, she stumbles backwards,
hands over her mouth.
THE DOCTOR
Are you sure he's human? He's not a bit overweight with a zip around his forehead, is he?
Are you sure he's human? He's not a bit overweight with a zip around his forehead, is he?
The strangeness of the TARDIS is too much for Donna --
she runs. The Doctor runs after her.
THE DOCTOR
Donna!
Donna!
He falls into step beside her.
THE DOCTOR
Donna.
Donna.
DONNA
Leave me alone. I just want to get married.
Leave me alone. I just want to get married.
THE DOCTOR
Come back to the TARDIS.
Come back to the TARDIS.
DONNA
No way. That box is too... weird.
No way. That box is too... weird.
THE DOCTOR
It's... bigger on the inside, that's all.
It's... bigger on the inside, that's all.
DONNA
Oh! That's all?
Oh! That's all?
She sighs exaggeratedly and checks her watch.
DONNA
(suppressing tears)
Ten past three. I'm gonna miss it.
Ten past three. I'm gonna miss it.
THE DOCTOR
You can phone them. Tell them where you are.
You can phone them. Tell them where you are.
DONNA
How do I do that?
How do I do that?
THE DOCTOR
Haven't you got a mobile?
Haven't you got a mobile?
Donna stops and stares at him.
DONNA
I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting, do you think I said "Alison, the one thing I forgot to say is give me pockets"?!
I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting, do you think I said "Alison, the one thing I forgot to say is give me pockets"?!
THE DOCTOR
.... This man you're marrying -- what's his name?
.... This man you're marrying -- what's his name?
DONNA
(suddenly all loved-up)
Lance.
Lance.
THE DOCTOR
Gotta like Lance.
Gotta like Lance.
DONNA
(changing manner with
terrifying abruptness)
Oi! No stupid Martian is gonna stop me from getting married. To hell with you!
Oi! No stupid Martian is gonna stop me from getting married. To hell with you!
She runs off.
THE DOCTOR
(feebly)
I'm-- I'm not... I'm not... I'm not from Mars.
I'm-- I'm not... I'm not... I'm not from Mars.
He runs after her.
EXT. SOME DIFFERENT LONDON STREET
Donna runs down a busy street.
DONNA
Taxi!
Taxi!
The Doctor joins her. The taxi ignores them.
DONNA
Why's his light on??
Why's his light on??
THE DOCTOR
(pointing)
There's another one!
There's another one!
He runs to try and catch it.
DONNA
Taxi!
Taxi!
They stumble into the road in their effort to catch the
driver's attention -- but again, it just drives straight past.
DONNA
Oi!
Oi!
THE DOCTOR
There's one!
There's one!
He runs, waving for attention. And again, it ignores
them.
DONNA
Oi!
Oi!
THE DOCTOR
Do you have this effect on everyone? Why aren't they stopping?
Do you have this effect on everyone? Why aren't they stopping?
DONNA
They think I'm in fancy dress.
They think I'm in fancy dress.
Another taxi drives past, the driver hooting his horn.
TAXI DRIVER
Stay off the scotch darlin'!
Stay off the scotch darlin'!
DONNA
They think I'm drunk.
They think I'm drunk.
Two guys in their car yell out of the window as they
drive past.
DRIVER & PASSENGER
You're fooling no-one, mate!
You're fooling no-one, mate!
DONNA
They think I'm in drag!
They think I'm in drag!
The Doctor looks Donna up and down appraisingly.
THE DOCTOR
Hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on.
He puts his fingers between his lips and whistles, long
and piercing, causing Donna to wince and cover her ears. However, it attracts
the attention of a taxi, which grinds to a halt before them. The Doctor and
Donna clamber in the back seat.
DONNA
(instructing the driver)
Saint Mary's in Chiswick, just off Hayden Road. It's an emergency, I'm getting married! Just... hurry up!
Saint Mary's in Chiswick, just off Hayden Road. It's an emergency, I'm getting married! Just... hurry up!
TAXI DRIVER
You know it'll cost you, sweetheart? Double rates today.
You know it'll cost you, sweetheart? Double rates today.
DONNA
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
(to the Doctor)
Have you got any money?
THE DOCTOR
Um... no. And you?
Um... no. And you?
DONNA
(gesturing her dress
violently)
Pockets!
Pockets!
The taxi screeches to a halt and they're out. The Doctor
slams the door.
DONNA
(yells at driver)
And that goes double for your mother!
And that goes double for your mother!
The taxi drives off.
DONNA
I'll have him. I've got his number. I'll have him. Talk about the Christmas Spirit.
I'll have him. I've got his number. I'll have him. Talk about the Christmas Spirit.
THE DOCTOR
(looks around, vaguely
surprised)
Is it Christmas?
Is it Christmas?
DONNA
Well, duh. Maybe not on Mars, but here it's Christmas Eve.
Well, duh. Maybe not on Mars, but here it's Christmas Eve.
She hits him, having spotted
something in the distance.
DONNA
Phone box!
Phone box!
They rush towards it.
DONNA
We can reverse the charges!
We can reverse the charges!
THE DOCTOR
How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?
How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?
DONNA
Can't bear it. I hate Christmas. Honeymoon in Morocco. Sunshine -- lovely.
Can't bear it. I hate Christmas. Honeymoon in Morocco. Sunshine -- lovely.
They reach the phone box -- the Doctor holds the door
open for Donna.
DONNA
What's the operator? I've not done this in years. What do you dial? 100?
What's the operator? I've not done this in years. What do you dial? 100?
THE DOCTOR
(applying his sonic
screwdriver to the phone)
Just-- just call the direct.
The dial tone buzzes on the end of the receiver.
DONNA
(demandingly)
What did you do?
What did you do?
THE DOCTOR
(distracted, looking around)
Something-- Martian. Now, phone. I'll get money!
Something-- Martian. Now, phone. I'll get money!
He sprints to the nearest cash machine. The man currently
using it in front of him is being aggravatingly slow -- the Doctor hops from
foot to foot impatiently.
DONNA
(still in the phone box)
Ohh, answer the phone!
Ohh, answer the phone!
She punches the numbers out.
INT. CHURCH
At the church, Sylvia's phone rings.
SYLVIA
Hello?? Oh, no! The battery's gone! Has anyone got a charger?
Hello?? Oh, no! The battery's gone! Has anyone got a charger?
LANCE
Have you tried the hotel? Hello?
Hello??
His phone goes dead.
Vicar, is your phone working?
Mine's run out!
VICAR
(ignoring him, already on the
phone)
I've got one wedding about to arrive and another wedding refusing to leave, so yes, I do think it's a police matter.
I've got one wedding about to arrive and another wedding refusing to leave, so yes, I do think it's a police matter.
EXT. STREET
DONNA
(leaving a message)
Mum, get off the phone and listen. I'm in—
Mum, get off the phone and listen. I'm in—
(looks around)
Oh, my God-- I dunno where I am!
It's... it's a street. And there's WH Smith... but it's definitely Earth.
The Doctor is still waiting to use the cash machine,
growing more agitated by the second. Finally the man in front of him leaves.
The Doctor darts forwards, casting a furtive look about him before using his
sonic screwdriver to retrieve cash from the machine. Donna leaves the phone
box, out of breath. She approaches a woman at random on the street.
DONNA
Excuse me... I'm begging you. I'm getting married, I really am and I'm late and I just need to borrow a tenner and I'll pay you back I promise and it's Christmas.
Excuse me... I'm begging you. I'm getting married, I really am and I'm late and I just need to borrow a tenner and I'll pay you back I promise and it's Christmas.
The Doctor takes the cash. His eye is caught by a row of
masked Santa's playing trumpets a short distance away. He watches them, remembering
his last encounter with similar Santa's, suspicions aroused.
DONNA
Taxi!
Taxi!
A taxi pulls up beside her -- she converses with the
driver for a few seconds before shouting back to the Doctor.
DONNA
Thanks for nothing, spaceman! I'll see you in Court.
Thanks for nothing, spaceman! I'll see you in Court.
She climbs into the taxi and it drives away -- the driver
is a masked Santa.
THE DOCTOR
(shouts after them)
Donna!
Donna!
But they've gone -- the Doctor looks back at the Santa's
playing the trumpets. One of them lowers his trumpet ominously. Now all three
of them are held like weapons -- the Doctor sonics the cash machine causing
notes to fly everywhere and there is mad scramble and confusion as people run
around trying to catch the money and stuff it into their pockets. The Doctor
runs back in the direction of the TARDIS.
INT. TAXI
Donna and the masked Santa drive along in the taxi.
DONNA
I promise you, mate -- I'll give you the rest when we get there. Oh, I look a mess.
I promise you, mate -- I'll give you the rest when we get there. Oh, I look a mess.
She takes her veil off, trying to catch her breath.
DONNA
Hurry up!
Hurry up!
EXT. STREET
The Doctor reaches the TARDIS doors at a sprint.
INT. TAXI
DONNA
Hold on a minute, I said 'Chiswick'. You've missed the turning.
Hold on a minute, I said 'Chiswick'. You've missed the turning.
(no response from the driver)
'Scuse me? We should've turned
off back there. We're going the wrong way!
The Doctor pummels the TARDIS into action with his usual
equipment -- namely his fists and a hammer. The rotor starts to rise and fall.
INT. TAXI
The taxi now joins the motorway and cuts across the
lanes, causing other drivers to beep their horns angrily.
DONNA
What the hell are you doing? I'm late for the wedding. My own wedding. Do you get that?
What the hell are you doing? I'm late for the wedding. My own wedding. Do you get that?
INT. TARDIS
The Doctor traces the taxi's progress on his monitor.
INT. TAXI
DONNA
(yells)
Turn around! Turn this cab around right now! Are you deaf or what?
Turn around! Turn this cab around right now! Are you deaf or what?
She lunges forward, pulling the Santa hood off the driver
-- his mask falls off, revealing a robot underneath. Donna sits back in her
seat, shocked.
DONNA
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
She starts pushing the door and window, looking for a way
out, trying to attract the attention of other drivers.
DONNA
(frantic)
Help me! Help me! Help me!
Help me! Help me! Help me!
(pummels the glass)
Help me! Help me!
A man in a red van notices her, looks concerned, but is
powerless to help since they're on a motorway.
DONNA
Help me! Help me! Get me out! Help me! Help me! I'm being driven by a robot!
Help me! Help me! Get me out! Help me! Help me! I'm being driven by a robot!
INT. TARDIS
Sparks fly from the TARDIS console and it tilts dangerously.
THE DOCTOR
(hitting it with a hammer)
Behave!
Behave!
INT. TAXI
The TARDIS falls out of the sky just above Donna's taxi,
spinning through the air.
DONNA
... you are kidding me.
... you are kidding me.
Two children stare through the back window of their car,
amazed.
INT. TARDIS
The Doctor attaches string to the console so he can
operate the controls from the door. He then stumbles over to the doors, string
between teeth, and throws it open. The TARDIS is in line with the taxi, zooming
along beside it on the motorway. Donna stares at him, hands pressed against the
window.
THE DOCTOR
(yells to her)
Open the door!
Open the door!
DONNA
Do you what?
Do you what?
THE DOCTOR
Open the door!
Open the door!
DONNA
I can't, it's locked!
I can't, it's locked!
The Doctor sonics the door, enabling Donna to push the
window down.
DONNA
(like he didn't already know)
Santa's a robot.
Santa's a robot.
THE DOCTOR
Donna, open the door.
Donna, open the door.
DONNA
What for??
What for??
THE DOCTOR
You've got to jump!
You've got to jump!
The robot driver turns his head slightly at this.
DONNA
(shrilly)
I'm not bleedin' flip jumping, I'm supposed to be getting married!
I'm not bleedin' flip jumping, I'm supposed to be getting married!
The robot puts his foot down and the taxi overtakes the
TARDIS. The Doctor pulls on the string, causing random explosions from the
console once more and the TARDIS bangs the roof of the car of a distressed man
before pulling itself back in line with the taxi. The children, still watching,
mutter to each other excitedly. The Doctor struggles to regain his balance,
then sonics the robot, disabling it.
THE DOCTOR
Listen to me -- you've got to jump.
Listen to me -- you've got to jump.
DONNA
(obstinately)
I'm not jumping on a motorway.
I'm not jumping on a motorway.
THE DOCTOR
Whatever that thing is, it needs you. And whatever it needs you for, it's not good. Now, come on!
Whatever that thing is, it needs you. And whatever it needs you for, it's not good. Now, come on!
DONNA
(yelling to match him)
I'm in my wedding dress!
I'm in my wedding dress!
THE DOCTOR
(exasperated)
Yes! You look lovely! Come on!
Yes! You look lovely! Come on!
Breathing heavily with fear, Donna opens the door and
positions herself ready to jump. The Doctor holds out his arms to catch her.
The children are chanting 'jump! jump!' from inside their car.
DONNA
(fearfully)
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
THE DOCTOR
(calmly)
Trust me.
Trust me.
DONNA
Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did she trust you?
Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did she trust you?
THE DOCTOR
Yes, she did. And she is not dead. She is so alive. Now, jump!
Yes, she did. And she is not dead. She is so alive. Now, jump!
So Donna, with a scream, jumps and lands on top of the
Doctor in a heap on the floor. The children cheer, the doors slam closed and
the TARDIS zooms back up into the sky.
EXT. ROOF
Donna looks at her watch. It's just gone half three. The
Doctor has landed them on the roof of some high rise building and is now
coughing and spluttering as he tries to extinguish the smoke billowing from the
TARDIS doors.
THE DOCTOR
(joining Donna)
The funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't really do that much flying. We'd better give her a couple of hours. You all right?
The funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't really do that much flying. We'd better give her a couple of hours. You all right?
DONNA
(shrugs)
Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
THE DOCTOR
Did we miss it?
Did we miss it?
DONNA
Yeah.
Yeah.
THE DOCTOR
Well, you can book another date...
Well, you can book another date...
DONNA
Course we can.
Course we can.
THE DOCTOR
Still got the honeymoon...
Still got the honeymoon...
DONNA
It's just a holiday now.
It's just a holiday now.
THE DOCTOR
Yeah... yeah... sorry.
Yeah... yeah... sorry.
DONNA
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
THE DOCTOR
Oh! That's a change.
Oh! That's a change.
DONNA
Wish we had a time machine. Then we could go back and get it right.
Wish we had a time machine. Then we could go back and get it right.
THE DOCTOR
... Yeah, yeah. But... even if I did, I couldn't go back on someone's personal timeline. Apparently.
... Yeah, yeah. But... even if I did, I couldn't go back on someone's personal timeline. Apparently.
Donna gives the Doctor a suspicious glance before going
to sit on the edge of the roof. The Doctor sits next to her, removing his
jacket and draping it around her shoulders.
DONNA
God, you're skinny. This wouldn't fit a rat.
God, you're skinny. This wouldn't fit a rat.
THE DOCTOR
Oh and you'd better put this on.
Oh and you'd better put this on.
He produces what looks like a wedding ring from his pocket.
DONNA
Oh, do you have to rub it in?
Oh, do you have to rub it in?
THE DOCTOR
Those creatures can trace you. This is a bio-damper. Should keep you hidden.
Those creatures can trace you. This is a bio-damper. Should keep you hidden.
He slips it onto her finger.
THE DOCTOR (CONT'D)
With this ring, I thee bio-damp.
With this ring, I thee bio-damp.
DONNA
For better or for worse.
For better or for worse.
The Doctor smiles at her.
DONNA
So, come on then. Robot Santas -- what are they for?
So, come on then. Robot Santas -- what are they for?
THE DOCTOR
Ah, your basic robo-scavenger. The Father Christmas stuff is just a disguise. They're trying to blend in. I met them last Christmas.
Ah, your basic robo-scavenger. The Father Christmas stuff is just a disguise. They're trying to blend in. I met them last Christmas.
DONNA
Why, what happened then?
Why, what happened then?
THE DOCTOR
... Great big spaceship? Hovering over London? You didn't notice?
... Great big spaceship? Hovering over London? You didn't notice?
DONNA
(dismissively)
I had a bit of a hangover.
I had a bit of a hangover.
The Doctor decides not to pursue this. He scans the
landscape.
THE DOCTOR
(nodding in the direction of
the Powell Estate)
I spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate. With this... family. My friend, she had this family. Well, they were...
I spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate. With this... family. My friend, she had this family. Well, they were...
He pauses for a moment, lost in thought.
THE DOCTOR
Still... gone now.
Still... gone now.
DONNA
Your friend... who was she?
Your friend... who was she?
THE DOCTOR
Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know...
Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know...
He contemplates her. Donna rolls her eyes.
THE DOCTOR
(pulling his sonic screwdriver
out of his jacket pocket)
What's your job?
What's your job?
DONNA
I'm a secretary.
I'm a secretary.
THE DOCTOR
(scanning her)
It's weird, I mean -- you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important...
It's weird, I mean -- you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important...
DONNA
This friend of yours -- just before she left, did she punch you in the face?
This friend of yours -- just before she left, did she punch you in the face?
She whacks the screwdriver aside.
DONNA
Stop bleeping me!
Stop bleeping me!
THE DOCTOR
What kind of secretary?
What kind of secretary?
DONNA
I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping.
I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping.
INT. BIG OFFICE
Flashback: Donna's sitting in a crowded, open-plan office
space, gazing at her surroundings as though slightly overwhelmed.
DONNA
(v.o.)
I mean, it was all a bit posh really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought -- I'm never gonna fit in here.
I mean, it was all a bit posh really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought -- I'm never gonna fit in here.
From across the office, Lance catches Donna's eye and
gestures to the coffee pot, offering her some.
DONNA (v.o.)
And then he made me a coffee.
And then he made me a coffee.
Donna gestures to herself and mimes "me?!" with
disbelief.
DONNA (v.o.)
I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee.
I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee.
End flashback.
EXT. ROOF
DONNA
And Lance -- he's the head of HR! He don't need to bother with me! But he was nice, he was funny.
And Lance -- he's the head of HR! He don't need to bother with me! But he was nice, he was funny.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING
Flashback: Donna and Lance are laughing and joking at the
bottom of a flight of stairs within the office block.
LANCE
She's not that bad!
She's not that bad!
DONNA
She is!
She is!
They laugh hysterically.
End flashback.
EXT. ROOF
DONNA
And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So that's how it started, me and him -- one cup of coffee. That was it.
And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So that's how it started, me and him -- one cup of coffee. That was it.
THE DOCTOR
When was this?
When was this?
DONNA
Six months ago.
Six months ago.
THE DOCTOR
Bit quick, to get married...
Bit quick, to get married...
DONNA
Well... he insisted.
Well... he insisted.
INT. BAR
Flashback: Donna and Lance are standing in a crowded bar,
when --
DONNA
Will you marry me?
Will you marry me?
Lance's eyes widen in terror.
End flashback.
EXT. ROOF
DONNA
And he nagged... and he nagged me...
And he nagged... and he nagged me...
INT. OFFICE BUILDING
Flashback: Donna is chasing Lance down several flights of
stairs in the office block.
DONNA
(imploring)
Go on, just think about it! We'd make a great couple! And I'd get rid of the dog... and we could do up that back bedroom.
Go on, just think about it! We'd make a great couple! And I'd get rid of the dog... and we could do up that back bedroom.
End flashback.
EXT. ROOF
DONNA
And he just wore me down and then finally, I just gave in.
And he just wore me down and then finally, I just gave in.
EXT. STREET
Flashback: Donna and Lance walking down a street, her
clinging to his hand.
DONNA
Please? Oh, please? Please? Please, please, please, please, please.
Please? Oh, please? Please? Please, please, please, please, please.
End flashback.
EXT. ROOF
THE DOCTOR
What does HC Clements do?
What does HC Clements do?
DONNA
Oh, security systems, you know... entry codes, ID cards -- that sort of thing.
Oh, security systems, you know... entry codes, ID cards -- that sort of thing.
INT. OFFICE
Flashback: Donna and Lance smile coyly at one another as
he hands her a coffee. The camera focuses in on the name 'H.C. Clements'
printed on the window.
End flashback.
EXT. ROOF
DONNA
If you ask me, it's a posh name for 'locksmiths'.
If you ask me, it's a posh name for 'locksmiths'.
THE DOCTOR
(musing)
Keys...
Keys...
DONNA
Anyway, enough of my CV. Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is gonna be so shaming. You can do the explaining, Martian-boy.
Anyway, enough of my CV. Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is gonna be so shaming. You can do the explaining, Martian-boy.
THE DOCTOR
Yeah. I'm not from Mars.
Yeah. I'm not from Mars.
Donna nods. The Doctor stands
and lends her a hand to help her up.
DONNA
Oh, I had this great big reception all planned. Everyone's gonna be heartbroken.
Oh, I had this great big reception all planned. Everyone's gonna be heartbroken.
INT. RECEPTION
However, it looks as though everyone has decided to go on
with the reception without Donna. 'Merry Christmas Everybody' blares out at
full volume, everyone is dancing, drinking, eating and laughing. The Doctor and
Donna walk in -- Donna looks around at the merriment, thunderstruck. She folds
her arms. Sylvia spots her first and freezes -- the rest of the room soon
follows suit until all is silent and all eyes are on Donna and the Doctor.
DONNA
You had the reception without me?
You had the reception without me?
LANCE
Donna... what happened to ya??
Donna... what happened to ya??
DONNA
(raising her voice a notch)
You had the reception without me??
You had the reception without me??
An awkward pause.
THE DOCTOR
(cheerfully)
Hello! I'm the Doctor.
Hello! I'm the Doctor.
DONNA
(turning to him)
They had the reception without me.
They had the reception without me.
THE DOCTOR
Yes, I gathered.
Yes, I gathered.
NERYS
Well, it was all paid for -- why not?
Well, it was all paid for -- why not?
DONNA
Thank you, Nerys.
Thank you, Nerys.
SYLVIA
(approaching Donna)
Well, what were we supposed to do? I got your silly little message in the end -- "I'm on Earth"? Very funny. What the hell happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick because I'd love to know—
Well, what were we supposed to do? I got your silly little message in the end -- "I'm on Earth"? Very funny. What the hell happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick because I'd love to know—
The whole room starts talking at the same time until all
Donna can hear is an incomprehensible babble of voices -- so she bursts into
tears, at which their anger melts into pity. Lance hugs her and she cries into
his shoulder. Everyone applauds -- and Donna winks at the Doctor through her
fake tears. He smirks.
INT. RECEPTION (CONT'D)
The reception party continues as before, except now Donna
has joined in with the dancing. The Doctor, leant against the bar, smiles
slightly as he watches her. He notices a man with a mobile phone and gestures
to borrow it. The man nods and hands it over. The Doctor, putting on his
glasses, does a WAP search for H C Clements. He casts a furtive look around the
room before using his sonic screwdriver to speed the process up -- the result
"Sole Prop. TORCHWOOD" is displayed on the screen. The Doctor closes
the phone and gives it back to the man, memories now seeming to flood back to
him. The music becomes more prominent (lyrics)
as he watches the dancing. His eyes fall onto a couple dancing -- the man
throws the woman backwards over his arm and the Doctor is reminded briefly of
the moment on New Earth when Rose fell into his arms after Cassandra left her
body. He swallows and looks away. He notices the cameraman in the corner, who
is recording the proceedings.
The Doctor is at the cameraman's side as he puts a tape
in the camera to show the Doctor.
CAMERA MAN
I taped the whole thing -- they've all had a look. They said "sell it to You've Been Framed". I said "more like the News". Here we are...
I taped the whole thing -- they've all had a look. They said "sell it to You've Been Framed". I said "more like the News". Here we are...
He plays the tape -- the camera is zoomed in on Donna's
face as she seemingly disintegrates into golden particles with a scream.
THE DOCTOR
Can't be! Play it again?
Can't be! Play it again?
CAMERA MAN
Clever, mind! Good trick, I'll give her that. I was clapping.
Clever, mind! Good trick, I'll give her that. I was clapping.
The Doctor watches the video again, brow furrowed
incredulously.
THE DOCTOR
But that looks like... Huon Particles!
But that looks like... Huon Particles!
CAMERA MAN
What's that?
What's that?
THE DOCTOR
That's impossible, that's... ancient! Huon energy doesn't exist anymore, not for billions of years! So old that...
That's impossible, that's... ancient! Huon energy doesn't exist anymore, not for billions of years! So old that...
His eyes is suddenly drawn to the ring/biodamper he
earlier placed on Donna's finger.
THE DOCTOR
.... it can't be hidden by a biodamper!
.... it can't be hidden by a biodamper!
He runs as fast as he can to a window -- and sure enough,
there are the Santas, making their way slowly to the house. He rushes back to
Donna.
THE DOCTOR
Donna! Donna, they've found you.
Donna! Donna, they've found you.
DONNA
But you said I was safe.
But you said I was safe.
THE DOCTOR
The biodamper doesn't work. We've got to get everyone out.
The biodamper doesn't work. We've got to get everyone out.
DONNA
(looking around at everyone)
Oh, my God -- it's all my family...
Oh, my God -- it's all my family...
THE DOCTOR
Out the back door!
Out the back door!
They run out the back door, only to be confronted with
two of the Santas.
THE DOCTOR
Maybe not.
Maybe not.
They run back inside. The Doctor darts over to another
window and sees two more Santas.
DONNA
We're trapped.
We're trapped.
The Santas are holding some kind of remote control, which
they raise. The Doctor looks at the Christmas tree in the middle of the room.
THE DOCTOR
Christmas trees...
Christmas trees...
DONNA
What about them?
What about them?
THE DOCTOR
They kill.
They kill.
He runs into the crowd.
THE DOCTOR
Get away from the tree!
Get away from the tree!
DONNA
Don't touch the trees!
Don't touch the trees!
THE DOCTOR
Get away from the Christmas trees, everyone get away from them!
Get away from the Christmas trees, everyone get away from them!
The Santas are at the ready with their remote controls --
Donna ushers a group of little girls away from the Christmas tree.
DONNA
Out! Lance, tell them!
Out! Lance, tell them!
THE DOCTOR
Stay away from the tree!
Stay away from the tree!
The Santas press a big red button in the middle of their
consoles.
THE DOCTOR
Stay away from the tree!
Stay away from the tree!
SYLVIA
Oh, for God's sakes, the man's an idiot! Why? What's a Christmas tree gonna... oh!
Oh, for God's sakes, the man's an idiot! Why? What's a Christmas tree gonna... oh!
She trails off as she observes the baubles float away
from the tree in some kind of weird dance. The Doctor watches them mistrustfully
as they hover above everyone's heads. Everyone chatters excitedly until they
start dive-bombing around the room and causing small explosions. Everyone
starts screaming and running for cover. Donna pulls Lance down to hide under a
table with her. The Doctor runs over to the DJ's stand. The Santas are lined up
opposite.
THE DOCTOR
Oi! Santa! Word of advice: if you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver...
Oi! Santa! Word of advice: if you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver...
(into the microphone)
... don't let him near the sound
system.
He holds his sonic screwdriver next to the amplifiers and
it makes a horrible, high-pitched screeching sound. Everyone covers their ears
and the Santas vibrate violently until they fall to pieces. The Doctor removes
his sonic screwdriver and then runs to examine the mechanics of the Santas.
Everyone begins to get up off the floor.
GEOFF
(helping Stan up)
All right, Stan... you'll be all right. It's all over.
All right, Stan... you'll be all right. It's all over.
DONNA
(running to two of the
children)
Michael? Connie?
Michael? Connie?
The Doctor picks up the consoles which the Santas were
using.
DONNA
Oh Senita, do something useful.
Oh Senita, do something useful.
SYLVIA
But what is it?
But what is it?
(points at Santas)
What were they?
DONNA
Just stop wittering, just help 'em.
Just stop wittering, just help 'em.
THE DOCTOR
Look at that -- remote control for the decorations
Look at that -- remote control for the decorations
(he shows her the hand held
consoles)
but there's a second remote
control for the robots.
(he examines the head of one)
They're not scavengers anymore. I
think someone's taken possession.
DONNA
Never mind all that, you're a doctor -- people have been hurt.
Never mind all that, you're a doctor -- people have been hurt.
THE DOCTOR
Nah, they wanted you alive, look
Nah, they wanted you alive, look
(he throws her a bauble)
they're not active now.
DONNA
All I'm saying -- you could help.
All I'm saying -- you could help.
THE DOCTOR
(holding the head to his hear)
Gotta think of the bigger picture... there's still a signal!
Gotta think of the bigger picture... there's still a signal!
And with that, he takes off.
Donna makes to follow him when—
SYLVIA
(scared)
Donna... who is he? Who is that man?
Donna... who is he? Who is that man?
Donna doesn't have an answer for her. She follows the
Doctor, leaving Sylvia and Lance staring after her.
EXT. OUTSIDE RECEPTION HALL
Donna follows the Doctor outside where he stands scanning
the helmet with his sonic screwdriver.
THE DOCTOR
There's someone behind this, directing the robo-force.
There's someone behind this, directing the robo-force.
DONNA
But why is it me? What have I done?
But why is it me? What have I done?
THE DOCTOR
If we find the controller, we'll find that out. Oh!
If we find the controller, we'll find that out. Oh!
He raises his sonic screwdriver into the air.
THE DOCTOR
It's up there. Something in the sky.
It's up there. Something in the sky.
INT. RACNOSS SHIP
'Something in the sky' -- namely an enormous spider
(Empress) with a woman's head and a rasping voice -- is watching the Doctor and
Donna on a screen.
EMPRESS
Clever, clever, clever boy. (???) Travelling man. He shall come to me and beautiful bride. Such secrets to unlock! I shall descend this night -- I shall descend upon this Earth and shine!
Clever, clever, clever boy. (???) Travelling man. He shall come to me and beautiful bride. Such secrets to unlock! I shall descend this night -- I shall descend upon this Earth and shine!
A star shaped web is hovering in space over the Earth.
EXT. OUTSIDE RECEPTION HALL
THE DOCTOR
I've lost the signal -- Donna, we've got to get to your office, H C Clements. I think that's where it all started. Lance -- is it Lance? Can you give me a lift?
I've lost the signal -- Donna, we've got to get to your office, H C Clements. I think that's where it all started. Lance -- is it Lance? Can you give me a lift?
He darts off without waiting for an answer.
INT. H C CLEMENS
The Doctor, Donna and Lance arrive at H C Clements -- they
run into the building and then into Donna's office. The Doctor goes straight to
a computer.
THE DOCTOR
This might just be a locksmiths, but H C Clements was brought up twenty three years ago by the Torchwood Institute.
This might just be a locksmiths, but H C Clements was brought up twenty three years ago by the Torchwood Institute.
DONNA
Who are they?
Who are they?
THE DOCTOR
They were behind the battle of Canary Wharf.
They were behind the battle of Canary Wharf.
Blank silence from Donna.
THE DOCTOR
... Cyberman invasion.
... Cyberman invasion.
She looks at him inquiringly.
THE DOCTOR
Skies over London full of Daleks?
Skies over London full of Daleks?
DONNA
Oh, I was in Spain.
Oh, I was in Spain.
THE DOCTOR
They had Cybermen in Spain.
They had Cybermen in Spain.
DONNA
Scuba diving.
Scuba diving.
THE DOCTOR
That big picture, Donna -- you keep on missing it.
That big picture, Donna -- you keep on missing it.
(He darts over to another
computer)
Torchwood was destroyed, but H C
Clements stayed in business. I think... someone else came in and took over
(he whacks the monitor)
the operation.
DONNA
But what do they want with me?
But what do they want with me?
THE DOCTOR
(giving her his full
attention)
Somehow you've been dosed with Huon energy. And that's a problem because Huon energy hasn't existed since the Dark times. The only place you'd find a Huon particle now is a remnant in the heart of the TARDIS. See? That's what happened. Say... that's the TARDIS
Somehow you've been dosed with Huon energy. And that's a problem because Huon energy hasn't existed since the Dark times. The only place you'd find a Huon particle now is a remnant in the heart of the TARDIS. See? That's what happened. Say... that's the TARDIS
(shows Donna a mug).
And that's you.
(picks up pencil)
The particles inside you
activated. The two sets of particles magnetised and WHAP!
(throws pencil into mug).
You were pulled inside the
TARDIS.
DONNA
(weakly)
I'm a pencil inside a mug?
I'm a pencil inside a mug?
THE DOCTOR
Yes, you are. 4H. Sums you up. Lance? What was H C Clements working on? Anything top secret? Special operations? Do not enter?
Yes, you are. 4H. Sums you up. Lance? What was H C Clements working on? Anything top secret? Special operations? Do not enter?
LANCE
(defensively)
I don't know, I'm in charge of personnel. I wasn't project manager.
I don't know, I'm in charge of personnel. I wasn't project manager.
The Doctor holds his sonic screwdriver to the screen and
it instantly displays the page he's looking for.
LANCE
Why am I even explaining myself?? What the hell are we talking about?
Why am I even explaining myself?? What the hell are we talking about?
THE DOCTOR
They make keys, that's the point. And look at this...
They make keys, that's the point. And look at this...
(a 3D plan of the building on
the screen)
... we're on the third floor.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING
The Doctor, Lance and Donna wait for the lift to come
down to their floor.
THE DOCTOR
Underneath reception, there's a basement, yes?
Underneath reception, there's a basement, yes?
The doors ping open and the Doctor goes inside and looks
at the controls.
THE DOCTOR
Then how come when you look on the lift, there's a button marked 'lower basement'? There's a whole floor which doesn't exist on the official plans. So what's down there, then?
Then how come when you look on the lift, there's a button marked 'lower basement'? There's a whole floor which doesn't exist on the official plans. So what's down there, then?
LANCE
Are you telling me this building's got a secret floor?
Are you telling me this building's got a secret floor?
THE DOCTOR
No, I'm showing you this building's got a secret floor.
No, I'm showing you this building's got a secret floor.
DONNA
It needs a key.
It needs a key.
THE DOCTOR
I don't.
I don't.
He sonics the lock.
THE DOCTOR
Right then, thanks you two, I can handle this -- see you later.
Right then, thanks you two, I can handle this -- see you later.
DONNA
No chance, Martian. You're the man who keeps saving my life, I ain't letting you out of my sight.
No chance, Martian. You're the man who keeps saving my life, I ain't letting you out of my sight.
She joins him in the lift.
THE DOCTOR
Going down.
Going down.
DONNA
(pointedly)
Lance?
Lance?
LANCE
Maybe I should go to the police.
Maybe I should go to the police.
DONNA
Inside.
Inside.
Lance meekly joins them in the lift.
THE DOCTOR
To honour and obey?
To honour and obey?
LANCE
Tell me about it, mate.
Tell me about it, mate.
DONNA
OI.
OI.
The doors close and the lift descends.
INT. RACNOSS SHIP
The Empress observes the proceedings from her web.
EMPRESS
The bride approaches. She is my key!
The bride approaches. She is my key!
INT. OFFICE BUILDING
The lift pings when it reaches the lower basement and the
Doctor, Donna and Lance step out into a long, dark, dank corridor, dimly lit
with an eerie green light.
DONNA
Where are we? Well, what goes on down here?
Where are we? Well, what goes on down here?
THE DOCTOR
Let's find out...
Let's find out...
DONNA
Do you think Mr. Clements knows about this place?
Do you think Mr. Clements knows about this place?
THE DOCTOR
The mysterious H C Clements? I think he's part of it.
The mysterious H C Clements? I think he's part of it.
(his eye is caught by
something)
Oh, look -- transport.
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
The Doctor, Donna and Lance trundle down the corridor
each standing on their own electric scooters, all looking extremely comical.
Donna looks at the Doctor and Lance and bursts out laughing. The Doctor joins
in, but Lance doesn't get it.
They come to a door which says "Torchwood -- authorised
personnel only", so naturally they abandon their scooters as the Doctor
turns the wheel that will open the door to reveal a ladder. The Doctor peers
upwards.
THE DOCTOR
Wait here. Just need to get my bearings. Don't...
Wait here. Just need to get my bearings. Don't...
(points at them both sternly)
... do anything.
He starts up the ladder .
DONNA
You'd better come back.
You'd better come back.
THE DOCTOR
I couldn't get rid of you if I tried.
I couldn't get rid of you if I tried.
Donna smiles. She and Lance watch the Doctor climb the
ladder.
LANCE
Donna... have you thought about this? Properly? I mean, this is serious! What the hell are we gonna do??
Donna... have you thought about this? Properly? I mean, this is serious! What the hell are we gonna do??
DONNA
(not really listening)
Oh, I thought July.
Oh, I thought July.
She smiles brightly and then turns her attention back to
the Doctor climbing the ladder.
The Doctor reaches the top of the ladder where he is
confronted with the underside of a manhole. He opens it and climbs out into
daylight -- he is overlooking the Thames Flood barrier.
THE DOCTOR
(jumping off the last rung of
the ladder)
Thames flood barrier! Right on top of us. Torchwood snuck in and built this place underneath.
Thames flood barrier! Right on top of us. Torchwood snuck in and built this place underneath.
DONNA
What, there's like a secret base hidden underneath a major London landmark??
What, there's like a secret base hidden underneath a major London landmark??
THE DOCTOR
I know! Unheard of.
I know! Unheard of.
They enter some kind of laboratory, full of massive test
tubes bubbling away and chemistry equipment.
THE DOCTOR
Oh, look at this! Stunning! Particle extrusion!
Oh, look at this! Stunning! Particle extrusion!
DONNA
What does it do?
What does it do?
THE DOCTOR
Particle extrusion. Hold on...
Particle extrusion. Hold on...
(he darts over to one of the
bubbling tubes and taps it)
Brilliant. They've been
manufacturing Huon particles. In case my people got rid of Huons, they
unravelled the atomic structure.
LANCE
Your people? Who are they? What company do you represent?
Your people? Who are they? What company do you represent?
THE DOCTOR
Oh, I'm a freelancer. But this lot are rebuilding them. They've been using the river! Extruding them through a flat hydrogen base so they've got the end result -- Huon particles in liquid form.
Oh, I'm a freelancer. But this lot are rebuilding them. They've been using the river! Extruding them through a flat hydrogen base so they've got the end result -- Huon particles in liquid form.
He picks up a small test tube full of the Huon particles.
DONNA
And that's what's inside me?
And that's what's inside me?
The Doctor gently turns a knob at the top of the test tube,
making the contents glow gold -- and Donna with it.
DONNA
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
THE DOCTOR
Because the particles are inert -- they need something living to catalyse inside and that's you. Saturate the body and then... HA!
Because the particles are inert -- they need something living to catalyse inside and that's you. Saturate the body and then... HA!
(Donna jumps out of her skin
and the Doctor is all mad enthusiasm again)
The wedding! Yes, you're getting
married, that's it! Best day of your life, walking down the aisle -- oh, your
body's a battleground! There's a chemical war inside! Adrenaline,
acetylcholine, WHAM go the endorphins, oh you're cooking! Yeah, you're like a
walking oven! A pressure cooker, a microwave, all churning away, the particles
reach boiling point, SHAZAM!
She slaps him.
THE DOCTOR
(indignantly)
What did I do this time??
What did I do this time??
DONNA
Are you enjoying this??
Are you enjoying this??
The Doctor relaxes, ashamed of himself. Donna walks
towards him, breathing heavily in her distress.
DONNA
Right, just tell me -- these particles, are they dangerous? Am I safe?
Right, just tell me -- these particles, are they dangerous? Am I safe?
THE DOCTOR
(unconvincingly)
Yes!
Yes!
DONNA
Doctor... if your lot got rid of Huon particles... why did they do that?
Doctor... if your lot got rid of Huon particles... why did they do that?
THE DOCTOR
(gently)
Because they were deadly.
Because they were deadly.
DONNA
Oh, my God...
Oh, my God...
THE DOCTOR
I'll sort it out, Donna. Whatever's been done to you, I'll reverse it. I'm not about to lose someone else.
I'll sort it out, Donna. Whatever's been done to you, I'll reverse it. I'm not about to lose someone else.
They are distracted by crashes and bangs that seem to
come from all around them.
EMPRESS
(voice only)
Oh, she is long since lost.
Oh, she is long since lost.
One of the walls slides upwards to reveal a secret
chamber with an enormous round hole in the floor.
EMPRESS
I have waited so long, hibernating at the edge of the universe...
I have waited so long, hibernating at the edge of the universe...
Lance, eyes widened in horror, hurriedly retreats through
the door.
EMPRESS
.... until the secret heart was uncovered and called out to waken!
.... until the secret heart was uncovered and called out to waken!
The walls of the chamber are lined with the armed robots
wearing black hoods.
Lance runs as fast as he can down the corridor back to
the door concealing the ladder -- he opens it.
THE DOCTOR
(peering down the hole)
Someone's been digging... oh, very Torchwood. Drilled by laser. How far down does it go?
Someone's been digging... oh, very Torchwood. Drilled by laser. How far down does it go?
EMPRESS
Down and down, all the way to the centre of the Earth!
Down and down, all the way to the centre of the Earth!
THE DOCTOR
Really? Seriously? What for?
Really? Seriously? What for?
DONNA
(shuffling forwards)
Dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs.
THE DOCTOR
What?
What?
DONNA
Dinosaurs?
Dinosaurs?
THE DOCTOR
What are you on about, dinosaurs?
What are you on about, dinosaurs?
DONNA
That film, Under the Earth, with dinosaurs. Trying to help!
That film, Under the Earth, with dinosaurs. Trying to help!
THE DOCTOR
That's not helping.
That's not helping.
EMPRESS
Such a sweet couple.
Such a sweet couple.
THE DOCTOR
Only a madman talks to thin air and trust me, you don't want to make me mad. Where are you?
Only a madman talks to thin air and trust me, you don't want to make me mad. Where are you?
INT. RACNOSS SHIP
EMPRESS
High in the sky, floating so high
on Christmas Night.
THE DOCTOR
(on monitor)
I didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom! Come on, let's have a look at you!
I didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom! Come on, let's have a look at you!
EMPRESS
Who are you with such command?
Who are you with such command?
THE DOCTOR
(on monitor)
I'm the Doctor.
I'm the Doctor.
EMPRESS
Prepare your best medicines, doctor-man, for you will be sick at heart.
Prepare your best medicines, doctor-man, for you will be sick at heart.
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
The Empress teleports herself into the chamber, snarling
and growling.
THE DOCTOR
The Racnoss... but that's impossible, you're one of the Racnoss!
The Racnoss... but that's impossible, you're one of the Racnoss!
EMPRESS
Empress of the Racnoss.
Empress of the Racnoss.
Elsewhere in the base, Lance clambers up the ladder and
through another corridor.
THE DOCTOR
If you're the Empress, where's the rest of the Racnoss? Or... are you the only one?
If you're the Empress, where's the rest of the Racnoss? Or... are you the only one?
EMPRESS
Such a sharp mind.
Such a sharp mind.
THE DOCTOR
That's it, the last of your kind.
That's it, the last of your kind.
(to Donna)
The Racnoss come from the Dark
Times, billions of years ago, billions. They were carnivores, omnivores, they
devoured whole planets.
EMPRESS
Racnoss are born starving, is that our fault?
Racnoss are born starving, is that our fault?
DONNA
They eat people?
They eat people?
THE DOCTOR
H C Clements, did he wear those-- those erm, black and white shoes?
H C Clements, did he wear those-- those erm, black and white shoes?
DONNA
He did! We used to laugh, we used to call him the fat cat in spats.
He did! We used to laugh, we used to call him the fat cat in spats.
The Doctor nods and points to a web on the ceiling -- a
pair of black and white shoes still attached to the unfortunate H C Clements
can just be seen poking out.
DONNA
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
EMPRESS
Mm, my Christmas dinner.
Mm, my Christmas dinner.
She cackles.
THE DOCTOR
You shouldn't even exist! Way back in history, the Fledgling Empires went to war against the Racnoss -- they were wiped out.
You shouldn't even exist! Way back in history, the Fledgling Empires went to war against the Racnoss -- they were wiped out.
Lance appears on a balcony above the Racnoss',
unbeknownst to her. Donna spots him and Lance motions for her to stay silent.
EMPRESS
Except for me.
Except for me.
DONNA
(in a bid to distract her)
But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing. Oi! Look at me, lady, I'm talking. Where do I fit in? How comes I get all stacked up with these Huon particles?
But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing. Oi! Look at me, lady, I'm talking. Where do I fit in? How comes I get all stacked up with these Huon particles?
Lance descends the stairs, axe at the ready.
DONNA
Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me.
Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me.
EMPRESS
The bride is so feisty!
The bride is so feisty!
DONNA
Yes, I am! And I don't know what you are, you big... thing. But a spider's just a spider and an axe is an axe! Now, do it!
Yes, I am! And I don't know what you are, you big... thing. But a spider's just a spider and an axe is an axe! Now, do it!
Lance swings the axe -- the Empress swings around and
hisses at the last moment -- then he stops. He glances round at Donna and
starts to laugh and the Empress laughs with him.
LANCE
(to the Empress)
That was a good one. Your face!
That was a good one. Your face!
EMPRESS
Lance is funny.
Lance is funny.
DONNA
What??
What??
THE DOCTOR
(quietly)
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
DONNA
Sorry for what? Lance, don't be so stupid! Get her!
Sorry for what? Lance, don't be so stupid! Get her!
LANCE
(staring at her pityingly)
God, she's thick.
God, she's thick.
Donna looks right back at him, so confused.
LANCE
Months I had to put up with her. Months. A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map.
Months I had to put up with her. Months. A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map.
DONNA
(uncomprehending)
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
THE DOCTOR
How did you meet him?
How did you meet him?
DONNA
In the office.
In the office.
THE DOCTOR
He made you coffee.
He made you coffee.
DONNA
What??
What??
LANCE
(as though addressing an
idiot)
Every day, I made you coffee.
Every day, I made you coffee.
THE DOCTOR
You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months.
You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months.
DONNA
He was poisoning me?
He was poisoning me?
THE DOCTOR
It was all there in the job title -- the Head of Human Resources.
It was all there in the job title -- the Head of Human Resources.
LANCE
This time, it's personnel.
This time, it's personnel.
He and the Racnoss laugh.
DONNA
But... we were getting married.
But... we were getting married.
LANCE
Well, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap -- "oh, Brad and Angelina -- is Posh pregnant?" X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me, dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia.
Well, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap -- "oh, Brad and Angelina -- is Posh pregnant?" X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me, dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia.
Donna listens to this torrent of abuse with an expression
of increasing hurt and confusion.
LANCE
I deserve a medal.
I deserve a medal.
THE DOCTOR
Oh, is that what she's offered you? The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you? Her consort?
Oh, is that what she's offered you? The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you? Her consort?
LANCE
It's better than a night with her.
It's better than a night with her.
DONNA
(plaintive)
But I love you.
But I love you.
LANCE
(nastily)
That's what made it easy. It's like you said, Doctor -- the big picture -- what's the point of it all if the Human Race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to... go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?
That's what made it easy. It's like you said, Doctor -- the big picture -- what's the point of it all if the Human Race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to... go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?
EMPRESS
Who is this little physician?
Who is this little physician?
LANCE
What she said -- Martian.
What she said -- Martian.
THE DOCTOR
Oh, I'm sort of... homeless. But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's gonna help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?
Oh, I'm sort of... homeless. But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's gonna help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?
LANCE
I think he wants us to talk.
I think he wants us to talk.
EMPRESS
I think so too.
I think so too.
LANCE
Well, tough! All we need is Donna!
Well, tough! All we need is Donna!
EMPRESS
Kill this chattering little doctor-man!
Kill this chattering little doctor-man!
DONNA
(standing in front of the
Doctor)
Don't you hurt him!
Don't you hurt him!
THE DOCTOR
No, no, it's all right.
No, no, it's all right.
DONNA
(frightened)
No, I won't let them!
No, I won't let them!
EMPRESS
At arms!
At arms!
The robots point their guns at the Doctor.
THE DOCTOR
Ah, now. Except.
Ah, now. Except.
EMPRESS
Take aim!
Take aim!
THE DOCTOR
Well, I just want to point out the obvious—
Well, I just want to point out the obvious—
EMPRESS
They won't hit the bride. They're such very good shots.
They won't hit the bride. They're such very good shots.
THE DOCTOR
Just-- just-- just-- hold on, just a tick, just a tiny-- just a little-- tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So, reverse it... the spaceship comes to her.
Just-- just-- just-- hold on, just a tick, just a tiny-- just a little-- tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So, reverse it... the spaceship comes to her.
He once again tweaks the tube of Huon particles which
causes both the particles in the tube and inside Donna to glow.
EMPRESS
Fire!
Fire!
The robots fire their guns, but too late -- the TARDIS
has already materialised around them and the Doctor and Donna are safe inside.
THE DOCTOR
(darting to the console)
Off we go!
Off we go!
EMPRESS
(incensed)
My key! My key!
My key! My key!
The TARDIS dematerialises, impervious to the bullets
hitting it.
INT. TARDIS
THE DOCTOR
Oh, you know what I said before about time machines? Well, I lied. And now we're gonna use it.
Oh, you know what I said before about time machines? Well, I lied. And now we're gonna use it.
The TARDIS spins through the vortex.
THE DOCTOR
We need to find out what the Empress of the Racnoss is digging up. If something's buried at the planet core, it must've been there since the beginning. That's just brilliant. Molto bene! I've always wanted to see this. Donna -- we're going further back than I've ever been before.
We need to find out what the Empress of the Racnoss is digging up. If something's buried at the planet core, it must've been there since the beginning. That's just brilliant. Molto bene! I've always wanted to see this. Donna -- we're going further back than I've ever been before.
It's only then that he notices Donna's shoulders are
shuddering with the silent tears pouring down her cheeks.
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
EMPRESS
If a key is lost, then another must be cut.
If a key is lost, then another must be cut.
(shouts)
At arms!
Her robots turn their guns onto Lance.
INT. TARDIS
The TARDIS, having arrived at its destination, clicks
quietly as it cools down. The Doctor peers around the console at the miserable
Donna sat in one of the chairs.
THE DOCTOR
We've arrived... want to see?
We've arrived... want to see?
DONNA
(unenthusiastically)
I s'pose.
I s'pose.
The Doctor swings the monitor round.
THE DOCTOR
Oh, that scanner's a bit small. Maybe your way's best.
Oh, that scanner's a bit small. Maybe your way's best.
(goes to the door and waits
for Donna)
Come on.
Donna stands resignedly and joins him.
THE DOCTOR
No human's ever seen this. You'll be the first.
No human's ever seen this. You'll be the first.
DONNA
All I want to see is my bed.
All I want to see is my bed.
THE DOCTOR
Donna Noble -- welcome to the creation of the Earth.
Donna Noble -- welcome to the creation of the Earth.
He opens the doors onto a spectacular sight. Donna's
mouth falls open. The sun shines through beautiful coloured dust and gas
clouds, enormous rocks floating around.
THE DOCTOR
We've gone back 4.6 billion years. There's no solar system, not yet. Only dust and rocks and gas.
We've gone back 4.6 billion years. There's no solar system, not yet. Only dust and rocks and gas.
(points)
That's the Sun over there, brand
new. Just beginning to burn.
DONNA
Where's the Earth?
Where's the Earth?
THE DOCTOR
All around us... in the dust.
All around us... in the dust.
DONNA
Puts the wedding in perspective. Lance was right. We're just... tiny.
Puts the wedding in perspective. Lance was right. We're just... tiny.
THE DOCTOR
No, but that's what you do. The human race. Making sense out of chaos. Marking it out with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it's being observed.
No, but that's what you do. The human race. Making sense out of chaos. Marking it out with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it's being observed.
DONNA
So, I came out of all this?
So, I came out of all this?
THE DOCTOR
Isn't that brilliant?
Isn't that brilliant?
A massive chunk of rock floats lazily past the TARDIS.
DONNA
I think that's the Isle of Wight.
I think that's the Isle of Wight.
They laugh.
THE DOCTOR
Eventually, gravity takes hold. Say, one big rock, heavier than the others, starts to pull other rocks towards it. All the dust and gas and elements get pulled in, everything, piling in until you get the...
Eventually, gravity takes hold. Say, one big rock, heavier than the others, starts to pull other rocks towards it. All the dust and gas and elements get pulled in, everything, piling in until you get the...
DONNA
Earth.
Earth.
THE DOCTOR
But the question is... what was that first rock?
But the question is... what was that first rock?
A star shaped rock emerges through the clouds.
DONNA
Look.
Look.
THE DOCTOR
(whispers)
The Racnoss...
The Racnoss...
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
EMPRESS
Now I have measured the bride's catalysis, I can force feed it.
Now I have measured the bride's catalysis, I can force feed it.
One of the robots force-feeds water poisoned with Huon
particles to Lance.
EMPRESS (CONT'D)
Drink the particles -- become the key!
Drink the particles -- become the key!
INT. TARDIS
The Doctor rushes back to the console and turns a wheel
frantically.
THE DOCTOR
Hold on -- the Racnoss are hiding from the war! What's it doing?
Hold on -- the Racnoss are hiding from the war! What's it doing?
The rocks, the particles of dust and gas, they're all
zooming towards the Racnoss as though drawn by a magnetic force.
DONNA
Exactly what you said.
Exactly what you said.
THE DOCTOR
(running back to the door to
look)
Oh, they didn't just bury something at the centre of the Earth... they became the centre of the Earth. The first rock.
Oh, they didn't just bury something at the centre of the Earth... they became the centre of the Earth. The first rock.
The TARDIS suddenly shudders violently and they are
nearly knocked off their feet.
DONNA
What was that?
What was that?
THE DOCTOR
Trouble.
Trouble.
He slams the doors shut.
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
EMPRESS
My wonderful key. Now, my servants -- bind him!
My wonderful key. Now, my servants -- bind him!
Lance is restrained by two of the robots as he glows.
INT. TARDIS
The Doctor and Donna struggle to keep their balance as the
TARDIS shudders and tips.
DONNA
(yelling over the noise)
What the hell's it doing??
What the hell's it doing??
THE DOCTOR
Remember that little trick I pulled -- particles pulling particles. It works in reverse -- they're pulling us back!
Remember that little trick I pulled -- particles pulling particles. It works in reverse -- they're pulling us back!
He desperately tries to pilot the TARDIS but it is beyond
his control as they whirl through the vortex.
DONNA
Well, can't you stop it? Hasn't it got a handbrake? Can't you reverse or warp or beam or something?
Well, can't you stop it? Hasn't it got a handbrake? Can't you reverse or warp or beam or something?
THE DOCTOR
Backseat driver. Oh! Wait a minute!
Backseat driver. Oh! Wait a minute!
He pulls out the extrapolator from underneath the
console.
THE DOCTOR
The extrapolator! Can't stop us, but it should give us a good bump!
The extrapolator! Can't stop us, but it should give us a good bump!
The TARDIS materialises back in the chamber.
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
EMPRESS
The bride shall join her groom. What a wedding there shall be.
The bride shall join her groom. What a wedding there shall be.
INT. TARDIS
THE DOCTOR
(whacking the extrapolator)
Now!
Now!
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
The TARDIS disappears and reappears down the corridor.
The Doctor and Donna emerge.
THE DOCTOR
We're about 200 yards to the right. Come on!
We're about 200 yards to the right. Come on!
They run.
EMPRESS
She is close! The holy bride in white. Find her! Find her!
She is close! The holy bride in white. Find her! Find her!
The Doctor and Donna arrive at the doorway leading up to
the Thames Flood Barrier.
DONNA
(out of breath and scared)
But what do we do?
But what do we do?
THE DOCTOR
(seemingly listening behind
the door with a stethoscope)
I don't know! I make it up as I go along! But trust me, I've got a history.
I don't know! I make it up as I go along! But trust me, I've got a history.
DONNA
But I still don't understand. I'm full of particles -- but what for?
But I still don't understand. I'm full of particles -- but what for?
THE DOCTOR
There's a Racnoss web at the centre of the Earth, but my people unravelled their power source. The Huon particles ceased to exist but the Racnoss are stuck.
There's a Racnoss web at the centre of the Earth, but my people unravelled their power source. The Huon particles ceased to exist but the Racnoss are stuck.
A robot grabs Donna for behind, covering her mouth so she
can't scream and drags her away.
THE DOCTOR
(who hasn't noticed)
They've just been in hibernation for billions of years. Frozen. Dead. Kaput! So you're the new key. Brand new particles, living particles! They need you to open it and you have never been so quiet.
They've just been in hibernation for billions of years. Frozen. Dead. Kaput! So you're the new key. Brand new particles, living particles! They need you to open it and you have never been so quiet.
He finally looks behind him and notices that she's gone
-- he groans and looks up and down the empty corridor. He opens the door with
his sonic screwdriver, only to be confronted with an armed robot.
DONNA
(who has joined Lance tied up
in the web on the ceiling)
I hate you.
I hate you.
LANCE
Yeah, I think we've gone a bit beyond that now, sweetheart.
Yeah, I think we've gone a bit beyond that now, sweetheart.
EMPRESS
My golden couple. Together at last -- your awful wedded life. Tell me; do you want to be released?
My golden couple. Together at last -- your awful wedded life. Tell me; do you want to be released?
DONNA & LANCE
Yes!
Yes!
EMPRESS
You're supposed to say "I do".
You're supposed to say "I do".
LANCE
Ha. No chance.
Ha. No chance.
EMPRESS
Say it!
Say it!
LANCE
(looks at Donna)
I do.
I do.
DONNA
I do.
I do.
EMPRESS
I don't.
I don't.
(she cackles)
Activate the particles. Purge
every last one!
Donna and Lance both begin to glow again.
EMPRESS
And release!
And release!
The particles extract themselves from Donna and Lance and
zoom down the hole in the ground.
EMPRESS
The secret heart unlocks. And they will waken from their sleep of Ages.
The secret heart unlocks. And they will waken from their sleep of Ages.
DONNA
Who will? What's down there?
Who will? What's down there?
LANCE
How thick are you??
How thick are you??
EMPRESS
My children, the long lost Racnoss. Now will be born to feast on flesh!
My children, the long lost Racnoss. Now will be born to feast on flesh!
The chirping of the spiders and the patters of their feet
can now be heard coming up the hole.
EMPRESS
The web-star shall come to me.
The web-star shall come to me.
EXT. SPACE
The star drifts towards the Earth.
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
EMPRESS
My babies will be hungry. They need sustenance. Perish the web.
My babies will be hungry. They need sustenance. Perish the web.
LANCE
Use her! Not me! Use her!
Use her! Not me! Use her!
EMPRESS
Oh, my funny little Lance! But you are quite impolite to your lady-friend. The Empress does not approve.
Oh, my funny little Lance! But you are quite impolite to your lady-friend. The Empress does not approve.
The web around Lance loosens and he tumbles down the
hole.
DONNA
Laaaaaance!
Laaaaaance!
EXT. LONDON STREET (NIGHT)
The star descends over the Thames. The confused Londoners
point up at it in wonder and awe.
LITTLE GIRL
(loving it)
It's Christmas!
It's Christmas!
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
EMPRESS
Harvest the humans! Reduce them to meat.
Harvest the humans! Reduce them to meat.
EXT. LONDON STREET (NIGHT)
What looks like bolts of lightning shoots out of the
points of the stars, killing all they touch. The crowds below run for cover,
screaming. The little girl screams, screwing her eyes shut as a bolt cuts
through the floor towards her until her dad picks her up out of the way just in
time.
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
One of the robots ascends the stairs running up the side
of the chamber.
EMPRESS
My children are climbing towards me and none shall stop them!
My children are climbing towards me and none shall stop them!
(she hisses and turns to the
robot)
So you might as well unmask, my
clever little doctor-man.
THE DOCTOR
(removing the mask and the
cloak)
Oh well. Nice try. I've got you, Donna!
Oh well. Nice try. I've got you, Donna!
He aims his sonic screwdriver up at her and the web
loosens.
DONNA
(screeches)
I'm gonna fall!
I'm gonna fall!
THE DOCTOR
You're gonna swing!
You're gonna swing!
Sure enough, she swings right over the hole on one of the
stands of web and towards the Doctor.
THE DOCTOR
(with his arms outstretched)
I've got ya!
I've got ya!
Donna screams and swings right underneath the Doctor and
smashes into the wall with a dull bang. The Empress smirks.
THE DOCTOR
... oh. Sorry.
... oh. Sorry.
Donna is sprawled out on her back below him.
DONNA
Thanks for nothing.
Thanks for nothing.
EMPRESS
The doctor-man amuses me.
The doctor-man amuses me.
THE DOCTOR
Empress of the Racnoss -- I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet. I can find you a place in the universe to coexist. Take that offer and end this now.
Empress of the Racnoss -- I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet. I can find you a place in the universe to coexist. Take that offer and end this now.
EMPRESS
These men are so funny.
These men are so funny.
THE DOCTOR
What's your answer?
What's your answer?
EMPRESS
Oh -- I'm afraid I have to decline.
Oh -- I'm afraid I have to decline.
She laughs.
THE DOCTOR
What happens next is your own doing.
What happens next is your own doing.
EMPRESS
I'll show you what happens next.
I'll show you what happens next.
(she hisses)
At arms!
The robots raise their guns.
EMPRESS
Take aim!
Take aim!
(they aim)
And—
THE DOCTOR
(quietly)
Relax.
Relax.
The robots go limp.
DONNA
What did you do?
What did you do?
THE DOCTOR
Guess what I've got, Donna?
Guess what I've got, Donna?
(he produces the remote
control from one of his pockets)
Pockets.
DONNA
How did that fit in there?
How did that fit in there?
THE DOCTOR
They're bigger on the inside.
They're bigger on the inside.
EMPRESS
Robo-forms are not necessary. My children may feast on Martian flesh.
Robo-forms are not necessary. My children may feast on Martian flesh.
THE DOCTOR
Oh, but I'm not from Mars.
Oh, but I'm not from Mars.
EMPRESS
Then where?
Then where?
THE DOCTOR
My home planet is far away and long-since gone. But its name lives on. Gallifrey.
My home planet is far away and long-since gone. But its name lives on. Gallifrey.
EMPRESS
(suddenly full of anger)
They murdered the Racnoss!
They murdered the Racnoss!
THE DOCTOR
I warned you. You did this.
I warned you. You did this.
He produces a handful of baubles.
EMPRESS
(panicking)
No! No! Don't! No!
No! No! Don't! No!
The Doctor throws several handfuls of the baubles into
the air. Some surround the Empress and some smash into the walls of the
corridor, destroying them and letting the water from the Thames rush though in
torrents. Another bauble explodes causing a fire at the Empress' feet. She
wails as water floods into the chamber and down the hole.
EMPRESS
(grief-stricken)
My children!
My children!
The Doctor stands watching in silence, surrounded by fire
and water, while the river swirls down the hole like it's a plughole.
EMPRESS
(hysterical and in torturous
pain as she is consumed by flame)
No! My children! My children!
No! My children! My children!
DONNA
Doctor! You can stop now!
Doctor! You can stop now!
But the Doctor can't stop -- he watches the Racnoss
writhe and wail in agony with dark eyes, full of some secret pain and then --
THE DOCTOR
Come on! Time I got you out!
Come on! Time I got you out!
The Doctor and Donna run up the stairs, soaking wet.
EMPRESS
Transport me!
Transport me!
INT. RACNOSS SHIP
She teleports herself back to her web in the sky.
EMPRESS
Oh, they will suffer! So suffer! This planet shall be scorched!
Oh, they will suffer! So suffer! This planet shall be scorched!
INT. TORCHWOOD UNDERGROUND BASE
DONNA
(as she and the Doctor climb
the ladder)
But what about the Empress?
But what about the Empress?
THE DOCTOR
She's used up all her Huon energy -- she's defenceless!
She's used up all her Huon energy -- she's defenceless!
EXT. LONDON STREET (NIGHT)
Huge army tanks rumble down the streets of London and aim
their cannons up at the star.
COMMANDER
Orders from Mr Saxon -- fire at will!
Orders from Mr Saxon -- fire at will!
SOLDIER
Fire!
Fire!
Cannon balls shoot at the star from all directions and it
quickly falls to pieces until finally it bursts into flame and disintegrates
completely, the Empress and all.
The Doctor and Donna have reached the top of the ladder
and they clamber out into the night, both whooping and cheering in delight when
they realise the Racnoss has been destroyed.
DONNA
(after catching her breath)
Just... there's one problem.
Just... there's one problem.
THE DOCTOR
What's that?
What's that?
DONNA
We've drained the Thames.
We've drained the Thames.
Sure enough, the Thames is completely emptied of water.
The Doctor and Donna collapse into laughter once more.
EXT. CHISWICK STREET (NIGHT)
The TARDIS materialises across the road from Donna's
house. She and the Doctor step outside.
THE DOCTOR
There we go. Told you she'd be all right. She can survive anything.
There we go. Told you she'd be all right. She can survive anything.
DONNA
More than I've done.
More than I've done.
THE DOCTOR
(scans her)
Nope! All the Huon particles have gone. No damage, you're fine.
Nope! All the Huon particles have gone. No damage, you're fine.
DONNA
Yeah, but apart from that... I missed my wedding, lost my job and became a widow on the same day. Sort of.
Yeah, but apart from that... I missed my wedding, lost my job and became a widow on the same day. Sort of.
THE DOCTOR
I couldn't save him.
I couldn't save him.
DONNA
(unfeelingly)
He deserved it.
He deserved it.
The Doctor raises his eyebrows. Donna's face softens.
DONNA
No, he didn't.
No, he didn't.
(looks round at the house)
I'd better get inside. They'll be
worried.
THE DOCTOR
Best Christmas present they could have.
Best Christmas present they could have.
They watch Sylvia and Geoff embrace each other through
the window.
THE DOCTOR
Oh, no, I forgot -- you hate Christmas.
Oh, no, I forgot -- you hate Christmas.
DONNA
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
THE DOCTOR
Even if it snows?
Even if it snows?
He tweaks a hidden switch on the TARDIS and a ball of
light shoots out of the top and explodes like a firework in the sky into softly
falling snow. Donna laughs with delight.
DONNA
I can't believe you did that!
I can't believe you did that!
THE DOCTOR
(casually)
Oh, basic atmospheric excitation.
Oh, basic atmospheric excitation.
He grins at her and she smiles back.
DONNA
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
THE DOCTOR
And you. So... what will you do with yourself now?
And you. So... what will you do with yourself now?
DONNA
Not getting married for starters. And I'm not gonna temp anymore. I dunno... travel... see a bit more of planet Earth... walk in the dust. Just... go out there and do something.
Not getting married for starters. And I'm not gonna temp anymore. I dunno... travel... see a bit more of planet Earth... walk in the dust. Just... go out there and do something.
THE DOCTOR
Well, you could always...
Well, you could always...
DONNA
What?
What?
THE DOCTOR
(tentatively)
.... come with me...
.... come with me...
DONNA
(smiles)
No.
No.
THE DOCTOR
(quickly)
Okay.
Okay.
DONNA
I can't...
I can't...
THE DOCTOR
(with false indifference)
No, that's fine.
No, that's fine.
DONNA
(overwhelmed)
No, but really... everything we did today... do you live your life like that?
No, but really... everything we did today... do you live your life like that?
THE DOCTOR
(unconvincingly)
... Not all the time.
... Not all the time.
DONNA
I think you do. And I couldn't.
I think you do. And I couldn't.
THE DOCTOR
But you've seen it out there. It's beautiful.
But you've seen it out there. It's beautiful.
DONNA
And it's terrible. That place was flooding and burning and they were dying and you were stood there like... I don't know... a stranger. And then you made it snow -- I mean, you scare me to death!
And it's terrible. That place was flooding and burning and they were dying and you were stood there like... I don't know... a stranger. And then you made it snow -- I mean, you scare me to death!
THE DOCTOR
(after a short silence)
Well then.
Well then.
DONNA
Tell you what I will do though -- Christmas dinner. Oh, come on.
Tell you what I will do though -- Christmas dinner. Oh, come on.
THE DOCTOR
I don't do that sort of thing.
I don't do that sort of thing.
DONNA
You did it last year, you said so. And you might as well because Mum always cooks enough for twenty.
You did it last year, you said so. And you might as well because Mum always cooks enough for twenty.
THE DOCTOR
(after oo-ing and ahh-ing in
his reluctance)
Oh, all right then. But you go first, better warn them. And... don't say I'm a Martian.
Oh, all right then. But you go first, better warn them. And... don't say I'm a Martian.
(indicates TARDIS)
I just have to park her properly,
she might drift off to the Middle Ages. I'll see you in a minute.
He disappears inside the TARDIS and it begins to
dematerialise -- and that's when Donna realises she's never going to see him
again.
DONNA
(yells)
Doctor! Doctor!
Doctor! Doctor!
The engines stop and the Doctor pops his head outside the
door.
THE DOCTOR
Blimey, you can shout.
Blimey, you can shout.
DONNA
Am I ever gonna see you again?
Am I ever gonna see you again?
THE DOCTOR
If I'm lucky.
If I'm lucky.
DONNA
Just... promise me one thing; find someone.
Just... promise me one thing; find someone.
THE DOCTOR
I don't need anyone.
I don't need anyone.
DONNA
Yes, you do. Because sometimes, I think you need someone to stop you.
Yes, you do. Because sometimes, I think you need someone to stop you.
THE DOCTOR
(quietly)
Yeah.
Yeah.
(pauses, then--)
Thanks then, Donna -- good luck
-- and just... be magnificent.
DONNA
(smiles and laughs)
I think I will, yeah.
I think I will, yeah.
The Doctor smiles and retreats back into the TARDIS.
DONNA
Doctor?
Doctor?
THE DOCTOR
(opening the door with mock
exasperation)
Oh, what is it now??
Oh, what is it now??
DONNA
That friend of yours... what was her name?
That friend of yours... what was her name?
THE DOCTOR
(a lump in his throat)
Her name was Rose.
Her name was Rose.
He closes the door for the last time -- and instead of
its usual dematerialisation, the TARDIS shoots up into the night sky. Donna
watches with a sad smile and then walks back home.
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